For Today: August 26th

The dogs bark but the caravan moves on.

Arabic proverb

Complaints: I have a lot of them---the ice is too cold, the sun too hot, the rocks too sharp.  There is not much I can do about any of it, so why complain?  Chronic complaining is a useless practice that destroys self-acceptance and self-reliance.  Complaining about things I dislike in my life increases my dissatisfaction.  Instead of buttonholing all who will listen, I can ask myself, “Is there anything I can do to help myself with this?”

Yes, there is:  I can practice the twelve step program, as written.  Complaining about my faults or the lacks in my life is folly; it is time wasted that might be better put to use in self-caring and acceptance.

For Today:  There is no need to complain about personal characteristics or other aspects of my life I do not like.  Instead of complaining, I can do two things: pick up the steps where I left off,  and pray for the removal of this defect.

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If complaining is a waste of time, which it is, then I’ve wasted a great number of years of my life that I won’t get back! UGH

I grew up in a house where it was normal to complain from morning till night, about everything under the sun, and everyBODY too.  Nobody was good enough, nothing was good enough, everything could always be better (if only….), and everybody could be nicer, sweeter, less jealous, etc. etc.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

It wasn’t until I found the 12 Steps that I recognized this fault in myself! Holy cow, I didn’t even know I was a chronic complainer………talk about living with head-up-the-butt syndrome!   I’m quite sure I relied on complaining to let me feel entitled to practice my addiction.  If nothing and nobody was ever ‘quite right’, then wouldn’t a big bowl of junk food make me feel better & wasn’t I justified in eating it?

It’s taken a long time for me to get off the complaining soapbox………and I still find myself doing it from time to time, especially in the traffic.  I must have said the Serenity Prayer 20 times today alone on the 22 mile commute which took me 90 minutes.  There was nothing I could DO about that traffic, and carrying on about it would NOT change it.  God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…………..and the ability to NOT complain about it!

When I complain, I am behaving with negativity. Negativity leads me back down the road to ALL the compulsive overeating behaviors that bring my body and mind DOWN.  It’s a vicious cycle.   Unless I recognize my tendency to complain, I can’t NIP it in the bud and STOP it in its tracks.  Honest to God, I have to make a conscious effort ALL THE TIME to keep my own mouth SHUT!

UGH.

Compulsive overeating is a behavioral disease………..food is the drug of choice………..the OCD  behaviors and chronic negativity is what led me TO the stupid food to begin with.

UGH.

For today, I will not be negative.  For today, I will keep my mouth shut & not say one snotty thing about anyone.  For today, I will appreciate even the TRAFFIC because it means I have a job and a car.  For today, I won’t complain about ONE SINGLE THING.  God give me the strength to do that!