Tuesday, January 31, 2012

For Today: January 31st

To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows.  It is easy to say no, even if saying no means death.
Jean Anoulh

It takes no effort, no risk, no investment of myself to stand back and not participate.  There is no chance of being disappointed.  Oh yes, I can look on, criticize a little, give advice.  Not today!  Today I choose to shout YES to life, to take whatever comes my way---indeed, to go out of my way.  By forgetting myself, I can feel and not be afraid, experience and not regret, make decisions and not worry.  I throw old cautions to the wind—some may even call me foolhardy----but I know I am not alone; I have a Higher Power to keep me balanced.

For Today:  I put aside old habits of negativity so I can experience a new closeness to others, to the present, to myself.  I exchange my “Yes, but” for “Why not?”


I have the choice to say Yes to life, or sit back and fade into obscurity, holding onto my fear and eating myself into oblivion.

It's much easier to sit on the sidelines and criticize than it is to jump into life and take a risk.  It seems easier to dwell in negativity, too, than it does to focus on the positive.  If I point my finger at YOU, I don't have to look at ME.

When I put my ego aside and forget my 'self', I can live life with the exuberance and joy of a child.  Throwing myself fully into this program enables me to do that, and for that I am grateful.

For today, I will face my stuff instead of stuff my face.

Monday, January 30, 2012

For Today: January 30th

The best part of our lives we pass is counting on what is to come.
William Hazlitt

What a waste.  A life of expecting and waiting.  Was the event ever as good as the anticipation?  Seldom.  Disappointment gave me climate to complain, reason to brood---and to seek relief in food.

In OA,  I am in today----now, this minute----which is the only reality.  Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is not here.  I will appreciate this minute for what it is.  I will be conscious of a life outside myself so I can hear its sounds, feel its warmth and coolness, know another’s presence.  Fear disappears, control vanishes, I let go and let God direct my life.

For Today:  In OA, I am regaining the capacity for simple enjoyment I once had: to explore, to accept, to trust and delight in present-moment pleasures as a child does.


OA teaches me to live in the moment; yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here yet.  What's happened in the past needs to be relegated to the back of my mind and what's happening NOW is what I need to focus on.  Just because I've regained my lost weight in the past does NOT mean I have to regain it THIS time.

These days, I have a plan of action to follow and a toolbox full of tools to use when I'm feeling weak.  I have a support system in place, and all I need do is make a phone call or log onto my computer to find help when I need it. 

I am not alone with my disease, nor do I FEEL alone anymore.  God is directing my life now, and what a relief it is!

When I love mySELF as God loves me, I want to treat my body with kindness and not abuse it with excess.  i deserve to live a clean and sober lifestyle, and to enjoy every day as a gift.

For today, I will treat the day as a gift and I will enjoy it, one moment at a time.  When I face a difficult moment or situation, I will not turn to food for comfort or to ease my anxiety, but to God instead.  Food will never provide the comfort I seek, but God WILL.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

For Today: January 29th

To be nobody but myself, in a world which is doing its best night and day to make me everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
E.E. Cummings

In OA, I am getting to know myself.  I no longer have to borrow from other people a way of thinking, looking or being.  I am accepted for what I am, and in turn I can accept myself.  I can be spontaneous.  I can reach out and be close to others.  Even when I am alone, if I am in touch with myself, I am not lonely.

To have the courage to be me, to accept myself without glossing over the truth: these are the goals toward which this program is directing me.

For Today:  In accepting myself as I am, I accept God’s will for me today.  Only through self-acceptance am I able to change.

 The definition of truth is to see myself as I actually AM.  If there is something that needs to change, then I do what I have to do to make those changes.  I can't do that if I don't review my actions with truth and honesty, though, can I?

One of the most important things I've learned in OA is the importance of truth.  Before OA, I stuffed all of my emotions back..........either with food or with denial.  "Oh, it's not THAT bad" "Oh, I'm not taking in THAT many calories" "Oh, it doesn't matter that I didn't move a muscle today, I'll work out tomorrow."

I was always willing to commit to a healthy lifestyle "On Monday" and, of course, Monday never came.  When I saw 225 lbs on the scale, the gig was UP and 'Monday' had arrived on a Tuesday.  I could deny the truth NO longer.

Nowadays, I am willing to see myself for who I truly AM.  I am a child of God, first and foremost, and I have a responsibility to love myself, no matter what.  The Steps help me behave myself in a commendable way......and to stop abusing my body for its 'imperfections.'  I will never be 'perfect' in this life, nor do I strive to be.

I DO strive to be the best I possibly CAN be, though.  I am a work in progress and I like myself today.  Liking myself, and accepting myself, is the key to abstinence.  When I feel like I DESERVE to treat myself with kindness and compassion, I DO.

For today, I am free to be ME.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

For Today: January 28th

Self trust is the essence of heroism.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the years before OA, when I tried to fight my illness with willpower, I could seldom trust myself around food.  As the disease progressed, the opinion I had of my “intestinal fortitude” fell lower and lower.

Self trust is yet another gift of the program that gives me freedom from obsession—and abstinence----one day at a time.  Complete trust in myself is not always possible, but when it comes, self doubts disappear, furtive struggles and fears are gone.  I treat myself with kindness and consideration, and my word to myself is as good as the commitment I make to others.

For Today:   I trust myself to be abstinent.


In the days before OA, I HAD no trust for myself..........no 'intestinal fortitude' whatsoever, so why bother trying?  A big fat excuse to stay FAT.

And, like they say in AA, an excuse is nothing more than a thin skin stretched over a bald faced lie.

Finding a program of abstinence to follow has been crucial to my recovery.  I don't have a choice; I just follow my food plan with no excuses, no rationalizations, justifications, or 'just this once' statements.  This is how I found abstinence, and this is how I keep abstinence.

When I put abstinence FIRST in my life is when I find serenity.   With  compliance TO my food plan of abstinence,  I find self-trust.

I put in my TIME, and I reap the rewards.

And, like they say in AA, TIME = Things I Must Earn.

If I don't put in my time staying compliant to a food plan, I earn nothing. Nothing but self-doubt and negativity for myself and my behavior.

I may WANT things to happen on MY timetable, but things DO happen on God's timetable.  When I am ready to reap the benefits of my commitment, I will enjoy its rewards.

For today, I trust myself, and love myself, enough to stay committed to my program.

Friday, January 27, 2012

For Today: January 27th

If we find nothing of interest where we are, we are likely to find little of lasting interest where we wish to go.
Edwin Way Teale

It is better over there---more action at that table, that group, that city, that country.  Ah, if only I were there I’d feel better.

What an old idea!  Where I live is inside; nothing on the outside changes that.  Yes, I can find a distraction, a place to escape.  But it won’t last.  Time now to look within; take an inventory, make an amends, a twelfth-step call.  Wherever I go, Tibet or Timbuktoo, Mt. Everest or the moon, I take myself with me.

Do I like the company?

For Today:   Through this program, I am regaining the zest and enthusiasm for life that is my birthright.

Wherever I go, there I am.

God knows, I’ve looked for geographical cures over the years.  Every time I moved away, I took myself with me, along with all my problems and compulsive overeating habits.  I’d wake up one day, in a new location, and hear myself utter “now what?”

Moving away doesn't erase my problems.  In many ways, it exacerbates them.  Now I'm in a new place with all NEW problems AND old problems BOTH!

Change comes from within. Until I was ready to face my demons head-on, I was doomed to keep trying to run away from them.  And, like a hamster on a wheel, I ran and ran but never got anywhere.   I couldn't  'arrive' at my destination until I determined where that destination WAS: inside of ME all along.

For today, I choose to live in the truth and serenity of recovery, which has been my true destination all along.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

For Today: January 26th

We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions.  We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in place of reality.
Daniel J. Boorstin

My life didn’t match life as it was shown in movies, books, on TV.  So I thought something was wrong and I had to fix it.  That delusion led me to demoralization and despair.

Today, with OA’s steps of recovery, I know illusions are an escape from reality and the price I pay for that escape is my illness.  Reality is what is.  Today, I do not have the illusion that I am the center of the universe, that I should try to make everyone love me, that my opinions are facts.  My illusions are being replaced with enlightenment, my resentment with serenity, my anger with love.

For Today:  Staying in the real world is far less painful than hiding in food and fat.


I lived in a fantasy land which I created to escape the pain of real life.  My life, of course, never measured UP to the illusion, so I was chronically disappointed.   Living with negativity has been my undoing, and my salvation, both at the same time.

Had I not been so negative all the time, I wouldn't have found myself at 225 lbs, I wouldn't have found OA, and I wouldn't have found recovery.  So yes, I'm grateful for everything in my life....the good, the bad and the negative.

Today I choose to live in truth and reality.  I no longer want to hide out in a fat-suit and bury myself in a mountain of excess food.

Today, I want to live joyous and free, without the burden of obesity weighing me down, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

For Today: January 25th

If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.
The Bible: Matthew

From diets to designs for living, I looked for direction to anyone and everyone who appeared to have solutions to my problems.  But instead of answers I found new---and sometimes worse----problems, and in the end I lost a little more of what self-esteem I had.

I found independence when I came to Overeaters Anonymous.  The self-honesty this program teaches enables me to trust my perceptions and listen to my feelings.  I am no longer attracted to people who would have me believe they know what’s best for me.  My Higher Power is the only source from which I seek such knowledge.

For Today:  If I don’t know which way to go, I turn the problem over to God in steps three and eleven, completely confident that the answer will come.  I may discuss the matter with my sponsor and others whom I trust, but I give myself time to learn what God would have me do.


I tried dozens and dozens of fad diets, nearly killing myself in the process of attempting to lose weight.  I listened to anybody who may have had an 'answer' to my weight problem since I was 'such a loser' and they were all 'such winners.'

When I came to OA it was a huge relief to give UP and to surrender my powerlessness over a 40-year struggle with food, dieting, scales and weight loss. 

My Higher Power knows what's right for ME, and I pray to ask His guidance rather than look to pills, people, diets or quick-fixes for 'the cure.'  

One day at a time, i pray to remain abstinent because therein lies SANITY.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

For Today: January 24th

Every man has his own courage, but is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Other people always seemed better than me---more confident, more at ease, better able to deal with life’s problems.  I only knew how I felt and how others looked.

When I came to OA I heard, “Don’t compare your inside with someone else’s outside” and “God does not make junk.”  Each time I am aware of the tendency to put myself down, I affirm and follow through on my belief that I deserve the same credit I give to others.  I treat myself as I would treat someone I love and respect.

For Today:  Liking myself, as God does, opens new doors, evokes a new spirit that gives me courage and makes room for true humility.


Why do we find it so difficult to treat ourselves as we would treat someone we love and respect?

Why do WE not deserve the same treatment we feel others' deserve?

All the negative self-talk and self-condemnation is what GOT us here to begin with! Knocking on hell's door and wondering how to get OUT!

If I tell myself I'm a loser and a good-for-nothing, why wouldn't I stuff myself with excess food? Isn't that what a loser DOES, after all?  When I set myself up to BE a failure, I AM a failure.

For today, I am going to treat myself with the respect I deserve to BE treated with.  I will love myself, as God loves me, and my behavior and actions will reflect that level of respect and self-love.

For today, I will give myself credit for my loving heart, my generous nature, and I will appreciate all the GOOD that is inside me.

For today, I AM good enough and I will act that way!

Monday, January 23, 2012

For Today: January 23rd

The individual never asserts himself more than when he forgets himself.
Andre Gide

Before I found OA, my theme song was I, I, I, played to the tune of me, me, me.  Not knowing what I really needed, I had to have what I wanted when I wanted it.  With the twelve steps of recovery, I have stepped out of myself.  The miracle of abstinence is greater than I am.  Spirituality is the nurturing part of me, and as I practice the principles of the program, it becomes stronger, pushing away self-destructive motives.  My life becomes spiritually centered instead of self-centered.

Like abstinence, the results I most ardently desire usually come about when I forget I’m supposed to be in charge.

For Today:  I do the tasks that are before me with a light heart and an incomparable sense of freedom, knowing that control of my life is in God’s hands, not mine.

Life isn't all about me, me, me............I only thought it was. I am not the center of the universe.......and when I act that way, my life falls apart fast.  And so does my abstinence.

When I step away from mySELF is when I am happiest............getting out of my own HEAD is a wonderful thing! Putting God in charge of my life instead of me is the smartest thing I can do each day.

For today, I pray to give service, stay out of my own head, and focus on freedom and spirituality rather than my own EGO.