For Today: August 16th

One can know nothing of (anything) that is worthy to give unless one also knows how to take.

Havelock Ellis

It’s terrible to receive; I don’t know what to do, what to say.  Whether it’s a compliment or a gift, I stammer and stutter in embarrassment, muttering ridiculous but time-honored denials such as, “This old rag?......I bought it at the Goodwill.”  Only later do I realize that in my attempt to appear modest, I have insulted the person who gave me a simple compliment.

I like the suggestion of a member who practices tough love:  “Say ‘thank you’ and then shut up.”

I treasure simple directions I can understand, and the loving OAs who pass them along.

For Today:  I am willing to practice saying “Thank you” until it comes naturally.

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Ah…….this subject is one that is near & dear to my heart.  The subject of compliments & how to handle them.  The subject of accepting a gift without feeling the need to return it.

Growing up, I was taught that ‘nothing is free’…..that everything has a price tag, and a much larger one than you even realize.  This sort of backwards thinking was ingrained in me from a very young age.

Combine that with a need to appear modest, a feeling of inadequacy, and a distrustful nature, and you’ve got one HOT MESS on your hands!

Accepting a compliment means that I am worthy of receiving it.  If I feel inferior, then I feel UNWORTHY of a compliment.  So…….what are you DOING complimenting me?  My antennae go up and I am automatically suspicious.

The person said, You Look Lovely Today, which leads me to think, “What, I looked ugly yesterday?”

The person said, Wow, You’ve Lost Weight!, which leads me to think, “What, I used to look THAT FAT?”

Know what I mean?

If someone gives me a gift, I feel the need to give HIM a gift, and a bigger, better one than he gave ME.

The Program has taught me many things; if someone gives me a gift, I say Thank You and I don’t rush out to find a gift to give HIM.  It is not a game of one-up-manship. 

If someone pays me a compliment, I AM worthy of receiving it.  In all likelihood, I DO look nice; I HAVE lost weight, my hair DOES look lovely, and that’s that.  There is no ulterior motive behind someone’s compliment and I do not have to feel suspicious. 

I AM worthy of a compliment, I AM worthy of receiving a gift, and ALL I have to say is

THANK YOU.

That’s IT.

Period.