‘Taint worthwhile to wear a day all out before it comes.
Sarah Orne Jewett
Planning ahead takes balance and moderation; you have to know when to stop. As a compulsive person, I was seldom satisfied to let well enough alone. Planning meant worrying myself through an entire day in advance.
The longer I practice the OA program, the more adept I become at living one day at a time. It is not always easy to know how much or how little planning I should do, but I have a good rule of thumb. When I begin to worry and fret about how to make things turn out exactly as I want them to, I stop. The relief of letting go, of turning over the responsibility for tomorrow’s outcome is unfailing.
Compulsive overeating is a disease of control….eating excess food is just the symptom of a need to control everything all the time. Desire for control breeds impatience & dissatisfaction. How can I live a life of peaceful serenity if I’m trying to do God’s job & control the world???
These days, I am able to plan ahead for certain situations, especially where food is going to be served, but I do not plan the outcome of that situation, unless it IS food related & I know that I WILL remain abstinent. I’m done trying to have things done ‘my way’ and instead, I give that job over to the One who should have it: God.
When I micro-manage my life is when I struggle. When I try to micro-manage other people’s live is also when I struggle. Struggle creates worry, and worry, in turn, creates more struggle.
And so, the vicious cycle of compulsive behavior is born & thrives.
If I am to nip this compulsive behavior in the bud, I MUST give up my desire to control, period.
For today, I pray for the willingness to let go & let God direct my life.