For Today: June 24th

Do not consider painful what is good for you.

Euripides

Whether it is applied to “sensible” shoes or healthful foods and habits, young people often tend to regard the label “it’s good for you” as the kiss of death.  Like many of my peers, I was sure I’d hate whatever was so suspiciously touted by my elders. Predictably, my reaction to things that were “good for me” was one of pain.

Today I know that pain puts me in touch with what I need----something from which I have cut myself off in blind obedience to habit.

What pain tells me today is that I have to change.

For Today:  Do I sabotage myself by ruling out potential friends---as well as certain foods, places, activities and ideas---if I suspect they’re good for me?  I am willing to examine old ways of thinking.

When I turned away from things that were “good for me”, I did so out of defiance.  Nobody was going to tell me what to do or how to do it! Hmmmmppppfffff! I’d show them! 

Yeah well, I “showed them” alright…..what it looked & felt like to be 225 lbs & take ‘orders’ from nobody, ever, under any circumstances.

I cut off my nose to spite my face, is what I did.

The other night I was watching Freaky Eaters on TV and the episode followed a 32 year old man who ate 1 gallon of maple syrup a week.  That computes to 456 bags of pure sugar a year.  He saw no problem with his addiction, in fact, he didn’t even view it as an addiction; just a habit he enjoyed & had no intent of changing.  When he was confronted by family members, a psychologist & a nutritionist, he stamped his feet in defiance & said No Way Will I Change for YOU or Anybody!

This gentleman reminds me of myself, back when I was doing what I wanted, when I wanted to.  He & I were both fighting an endless battle of wills.  To behave like a child is to prevent myself from growing into my adulthood, as I should. To insist on eating maple syrup *or any other unhealthy food* in unlimited quantities, is to disregard the gift of life, good health, and the responsibilities of adulthood.

Before I found OA, I lived as a child residing in an adult’s body.  In order to grab hold of a new way, I had to give up that fantasy of living as a child & I had to accept ownership of being an adult, and living with responsibility & consequences. 

If I continued sweeping things under the rug, those eating habits I once had would have killed me.

Being an adult is my God given responsibility, and so is acting like one. The first step toward embracing adulthood is the willingness to learn self-discipline and to accept it, one day at a time.