For Today: June 14th

For Today: June 14^th

He that knows least commonly

 Presumes most.

Thomas Fuller

How awful it was in the days when I pretended to know because I thought everyone else knew---and what was wrong with me?  Everyone else knew what? How to feel good. Look slick. Cope in the fast lane.

Today I have no answers. I know that solutions come as I need them from my Higher Power and that my life is possible only with the true miracle of abstinence and sobriety, a gift from God. That I know for today, and just for today.

For Today: What I know for sure is that I am a compulsive overeater, that I am powerless over food and that survival depends on turning my life and my will over to a Power greater than myself.

I spent a long time comparing myself to others & always falling short. I guess that’s why I pretended to know……because something was SO wrong with ME! 

In many ways, the BEST thing that’s ever happened to me was the realization that I AM a compulsive overeater AND powerless over food.

There is a great sense of relief in that admission….that I have a disease that is stronger & more powerful than I am but not stronger & more powerful than God is! Once I surrendered that powerlessness over to God, I was finally able to relax a little & stop running the world!

When I was in control of everyone & everything, I was never satisfied; I never quite ‘added up’ to others, or, to how I perceived others’  to be. Everyone was perfect & I was the schlub.

Twisted thinking indeed!

For today, I have to thank God for leading me to OA & for being a compulsive overeater. Without the Steps and the fellowship to guide me, I wouldn’t have ONE DAY of abstinence & sobriety & that is truly a frightening thought. I have grown & flourished with the Steps, which I never would have been able to do had I NOT recognized my powerlessness. 

For today, I am happy to be ME, warts and all, and happy NOT to compare myself with others or to have all the answers.