For Today: July 29th

Renunciation is a piercing virtue

The letting go

A presence for an expectation.

Emily Dickenson

Putting my faith in this program means letting go what I have in the expectation of something better.  I must be prepared for moments of confusion and upheaval, feelings of uncertainty, and yes, even fear.  However useless or destructive the old may be, it is given up with difficulty.

I may be surprised to find that what God wills for me may not necessarily be what I ordered up, as one does from a menu.  But I have already seen that everything I turn over to my Higher Power is taken care of far better than I could have imagined.

For Today:  What I need most to turn over to God is already clear to me.

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Giving up old habits & taking on an abstinent lifestyle requires a leap of faith; faith that a better way does exist.  If compulsive overeating didn't have its comforts and benefits, nobody would ever practice it! So, abstinence does not come without its fears, uncertainties & moments of doubt & chaos.  

Even after 3+ years of practice, I still have difficult times. Times where I question God and His will for me; moments of self-doubt and self-pity, where I wonder why I have to be burdened down by such a nasty disease as compulsive overeating.  

Faith is not always easy; sometimes the answers I seek are elusive.  I don't always get an immediate answer to my problems when I turn them over to God & that can lead me to question His will.  I am a work in progress and I realize that. 

For today, I pray for the willingness to turn my entire life over to God with faith and unquestioning certainty that He knows what's best for me.  I sure don't.