For Today: July 10th

To different minds, the same world is hell, and a heaven.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mind, as a recovering member of OA, is as different from my mind as a practicing compulsive overeater as night from day. Abstinent and self-accepting, I see more beauty than ugliness, more to admire than condemn. But, whether I am depressed or joyful, at peace or in turmoil, I know it is not the goodness or badness of the world, but my mind that tints the lenses through which I see.

As I grow in this program, my mind and my vision change. Problems of a week, a month or a year ago are resolved.  In time, I will be free of much that bothers me today.

For Today: I am letting go my urge to change people and situations to fit my expectations. It is not the world that needs changing; it is I.

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When I was practicing my compulsive overeating behaviors, I felt sure that the world needed changing, surely not me.

Injustice prevailed; life was not fair; people didn't understand me; poor poor pitiful me. I was entitled to overeat, after all, because I had a wounded soul.

I entitled myself to a life of misery, obesity & discontent, is what I did. When I was in charge of the world, it was a much uglier place, seething with worry, misery & fear. My attitude is what needed a wake-up call, but I didn't realize that while I was practicing my compulsion.

How could I see the forest through the trees while I was in the throes of addiction?  I couldn't. I didn't want to, either. In my twisted mind, it was easier to eat & drink to my heart's content than it was to abstain from the behavior that was making me miserable.

Only when I found Abstinence was I able to stop deceiving myself & start living with Truth & Honesty. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt and, as long as I was living in that state, I was unable to get out of my own way & allow the light to shine through.

Life is what I make of it. People are what they are, not what I would like them to be. Everyday life is like a banquet......my own choices at that banquet determine my sense of self-worth & value to society. I am not a slave to my addictions, nor am I a slave to what others expect of me.

To live with addiction is to wear eyeglasses with tinted lenses, as this reading suggests. To live an abstinent lifestyle is to remove those tinted lenses & to see life in a whole new way: with beauty, acceptance & joy.

For today, I accept myself for the child of God that I am. I choose to live without the burden of compulsive overeating weighing me down mentally, physically & spiritually. For today, I pray to live an Abstinent & peaceful lifestyle, one day at a time.