Do not set your eyes on things far off.
Phthian Odes
Unhappy people do not live in the present. They have their eyes on some distant future when everything will be wonderful. Compulsive overeaters will no longer be fat---something will have magically “fixed” them, and they will live the lives they always dreamed of having.
The tragedy of projection, of course, is that it is all an illusion; that beautiful future becomes the contemptible present.
I am not buying that illusion today. The only way I can assure myself of the best possible future is to live as well as I can today.
For Today: I refuse to sacrifice today for a tomorrow that never comes. I have everything I need to live today.
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This statement has been true for me………for many years, while eating compulsively, I DID live in the future. I waited for the magical time when things would be perfect. When I would be perfect & problem free, and thin of course. Then my life would be ‘just right’. I had no idea what ‘just right’ even MEANT, in reality.
It took Recovery in OA to teach me what ‘just right’ meant. Just right means I eat until I’m just starting to feel full. It means appreciating my life and myself for what I am right NOW. It means not thinking or worrying about ‘someday’ and focusing on today. It means living in the moment, without something to look forward to. It’s ok, I’ve learned, to be happy right NOW……without the need for something in the future to focus on.
All I HAVE is today, and so, I will live it to the fullest! I will allow myself the luxury of not worrying about tomorrow or yesterday.
All I HAVE is today, and so, I will live it to the fullest! I will allow myself the luxury of not worrying about tomorrow or yesterday.
I'm sure this is true. I just don't know what I'm looking forward to as my perfect life instead of appreciating me today. Waiting for my son to have perfect behavior and stop acting out, for the doubting of my mothering skills to stop, for me to meet the perfect guy, get a good career and of course, be slim. *sigh* I've been binging the past two days. I have been eating wwaaaaay past full and eating the fattiest things. I need help. I'm crying out to God and waiting. *sigh* I seem to be eating for relief from poor feelings. I feel worse when I see how much I've eaten. I am tracking. I can see that a certain drink triggered me. I bought it because I needed the bottle for my son's school project. I considered pouring it down the drain and thought I hadn't yet identified this type of beverage as a trigger, I should've known when I found myself considering pouring it down the drain. I guess that's what has happened. And my body is on a roller coaster now, wanting that sugar dose whenever I run low. It's a start. Thanks for letting me think out loud to you. Thanks for the posts and this forum. Jenny D.
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