For Today: April 3rd

For Today: April 3^rd

Want is a growing giant whom the coat of have was never large enough to cover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

My “wants” outran my “haves” in all things, though what I wanted most as a compulsive overeater was to be able to eat what I want when I want it. This illness is a symptom of want. What else did I want? More attention? More things? Yes—and more, always more. Whatever I wanted, I thought I should have simply on the strength of wanting it. But the truth is I seldom needed the things I wanted.

I am learning that what my life needs is the elimination of clutter and excess, which take up time and space and energy. If I think I need something, I ask myself, “What will it add to my life?”

For Today: The true source of serenity, of good feelings, is not getting what I want, but wanting what I’ve got.

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When I stick to my Food Plan religiously, I wind up eating all I need to keep my body fueled & running properly.

When I give in to my cravings, I am practicing want. 

For me, cravings never come about from true stomach hunger….they come about when I want to exercise my control instead of letting go & letting God. 

Staying firmly committed to a strict Food Plan leaves me with excess time on my hands during the weekend days. Yesterday, I de-cluttered several rooms in the house & that gave me a great feeling of satisfaction. Too much stuff is like too much food: it gets in the way of life.  It squashes my joy, robs me of my serenity, and makes me feel out of control.

So, my attempts to control my life leave me feeling out of control.

I walk through the path I must take to stay in recovery, whether I feel like it or not.  I do what I must do, with faith & knowledge that my life will improve through surrender.

For today, I pray to remember Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over food--- that  our lives had become unmanageable.

The wants of my life created the unmanageability; when only the basic needs are met, I am free to live unburdened by the pain of compulsive behavior.

For today, I will let go & let God run my life. He is far more capable of doing so than I am.