For Today: April 30th

For Today: April 30th

Either the human being must suffer and struggle as the price of a more searching vision, or his gaze must be shallow and without intellectual revelation.

Thomas de Quincey

From the pain of compulsive overeating came abstinence; from turmoil, serenity. When I am hurting,  I need to hear the words, “This too shall pass.” I remember other struggles and the rewards that came out of them. As Bill W. writes, “Our better understanding is often rooted in the pains of our former follies…..In God’s economy, nothing is wasted.”

Pain persists until I give up trying to do things my way. I am grateful for the suffering and struggling that brought me to this understanding. “Let go and let God” is an idea I could never have accepted had I not paid the price exacted by my illness.

For Today: I am thankful that the pain of compulsive overeating gave me the vision not to try to change the world or other people or situations or even myself, but to do the footwork and leave change up to my Higher Power.

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When I was in back labor for 27 hours with my daughter 18 years ago, my mom was with me and crying as she watched me suffer.   I told her then, nothing worth having comes easy.   Had I not been willing to suffer the agony of labor, I wouldn’t have 2 beautiful children. Had I not suffered the excruciating pain of obesity & its related illnesses, I wouldn’t have been brought to my knees in search of a better way.

I AM grateful to be a compulsive overeater, even though I despise the disease.  Had I not been saddled with this incurable disease, I don’t think I would have found the peace & serenity I’d been seeking for so long. I may never have reconnected with God & enjoyed a spiritual reawakening. For that I am eternally grateful, because my life Is SO much better now that I am abstinent, than it EVER was when I was eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to.  Acting like an intolerant & pouting child kept me in a childlike state, preventing me from assuming the role of the adult I truly AM.

In God’s economy, nothing IS wasted. Elisabeth Kubler Ross says, “There are no mistakes; no coincidences. All events are given to us as blessings to learn from.” 

When something bad happens, I can either choose to accept it and learn from it, or, I can choose to fall apart in fear, abandon my Faith and shut down, choosing my addiction over my serenity. If I choose to look at every event in my life as a blessing, I will learn acceptance and perseverance.  While I stay abstinent throughout life’s crises, I come out stronger and more empowered with greater Faith than ever before!

For today, I am grateful to be a recovering compulsive overeater; it is who I am. And through that knowledge, I am grateful to accept myself for who I am, and willing to accept life on life’s terms.

For today, I am grateful for my Faith & grateful to God for opening my mind to a whole new set of ideas and a whole new lifestyle, filled with hope, wonder & gratitude