For Today: April 24th

For Today: April 24^th

Solitude is bearable only with God.
Andre Gide

I can keep busy, work hard to keep solitude at bay. There comes a time, however, when I am alone with myself. When I feel the presence of my Higher Power, I let my thoughts wander into shadowy crevices, unafraid, and I learn much that I did not know before. I experience truths such as, “Fear has been a fact of my life.” Felt as a fact, it no longer seeps into every facet of my existence, and I am no longer its victim. Without solitude, I would not have seen that truth. Without the company of my Higher Power, I could not venture into solitude, a place devoid of distraction, where I am face to face with myself.

For Today: In conscious contact with God, I easily face what I cannot bear to look at otherwise.

Whenever I felt alone & afraid to deal with my innermost feelings, I overate to squash them down. I had trouble with solitude….I had to always be on the run from it…..doing, racing around, fixing, puttering….SOMETHING other than being alone with my thoughts. But eating excess food was THE fastest way I knew of to STOP THINKING.

Through the 12 step program, I’ve learned how to be alone & be ok with it at the same time. I’ve learned how to just ‘Be’……allowing myself to meditate & pray to establish contact with God has been a wonderful eye-opener for me. When I ask for answers, they come. When I distract myself, I cannot properly speak to God and find those answers!

It’s ok for me to be alone; it’s ok for me to Just Be; it’s ok for me to stop running away. It’s better than OK….it is VITAL for my continued recovery.

For today, I thank God and the 12 Steps for opening my eyes to what MUST be done in order to stay in recovery, one day at a time.