For Today: April 15th

For Today: April 15^th

“Hope” is the thing with feathers----

That perches in the soul----

And sings the tune without the words-----

And never stops-----at all-----

Emily Dickinson

A “hopeless compulsive overeater” is the way I described myself when I came to OA. I was sure nothing could save me. Today I know that no one is without hope. Indeed, the best hope is in the very admission of hopelessness. There may seem little chance of realizing my hopes but, far from killing them, that dim prospect gives them new life.

I once thought that if I hope for something I had to pursue it frantically. That’s not the OA way. Going on about my business, doing one small necessary chore at a time, and letting my Higher Power take care of the rest---that’s the OA way.

For Today: I admit I can do very little about my fears, my concerns and my hopes. But I can----and do----turn them over to God.

***********

“When I was running the world”…..when I was in charge of everyone & everything, I had no control whatsoever. My only control was what I put into my mouth. Bad choices were made on all levels. Someone once told me, “Gee, you have an oral fixation….” 

That’s one way to describe it, I guess.

Today, I know that hope can spring up like a teeny tiny speck, and it can grow from there, into a mighty force.  I did feel hopeless once, like there was no chance on earth I’d ever live a normal life, without dieting, starvation, weighing constantly, and tying my entire self-worth into how I looked.

I was wrong. The Hope was OA, the fellowship of compulsive overeaters, who share their experience strength & hope with all who wish to hear it. I am never alone anymore when I have the OA family to call my sisters.

Today, I can honestly say that my sense of self worth is not tied into the scale, the size of the clothing or the mirror. My self worth comes from who I am on the inside and, when that part is in order, so is my appearance on the outside.