For Today: April 18th

For Today: April 18^th

Never can true courage dwell with them

Who are playing tricks with conscience,

Dare not look at their own vices.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A twisting of fact, a wrong committed by word or deed soon erode the spirit. I may rationalize, “That’s the way life is; everybody does it.” But it is my wrongdoing, and therefore my peace of mind that is at stake, not “everybody’s.”

Is it an unrealistic expectation to try to square things with my conscience? No. The twelve-step program promises to heal those who are ailing spiritually. Because I want that healing, I follow the simple instructions and work as diligently as I can at practicing “these principles in all of my affairs.”

For Today: I choose to speak and act in accordance with the twelve-step program to the best of my ability.

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I spent most of my life feeling guilty for my behavior with food AND how I sometimes treated other people, my family included.  What abstinence has shown me is a way to STOP feeling guilty.  I have a food plan that keeps me satisfied but not stuffed or gorging myself, and I have a program of 12 simple steps to follow to keep the rest of my behavior in line.

The Steps are a roadmap to sanity….a prescription to follow to achieve peace of mind. The Steps do not only address food issues, they address all of LIFE’s issues. How to treat myself, how to treat others, how to say I’m sorry when the need arises, how to identify my character defects, purge them OUT of my system, and how to move forward from there, with a clean conscience & no feelings of guilt.  The steps teach me how to stop DOING things that make me feel guilty to BEGIN with!

This is the miracle of OA. The miracle does not lie in wearing a size 6, or in a number on the scale, or in how my butt looks in a pair of designer jeans.

The miracle lies in Serenity & peace of mind. The miracle lies in absorbing new ideas & allowing God back into my life after a long separation. The miracle lies inside of ME.

For today, I feel so incredibly grateful to God for leading me to such a miraculous place; to finding such a miraculous program, and for opening my eyes to the truth instead of dwelling in denial & negativity.