Only in a hut built for the moment can one live without fear.
Kamo no Chomei
Fear comes from projection. My mind does not say, “This is a fine, pain-free, worry-free moment in which there is nothing to fear. Therefore, enjoy it.” Instead, it leaps ahead, conjuring up all sorts of mishaps and calamities.
As difficult as it is to shed old habits, I keep remembering the relief and freedom and joy that came the first time I tried abstaining one day at a time and not worrying about what would happen tomorrow.
For Today: My life consists of single moments. I occupy them one at a time, savoring the fullness of each, and find there is no room for fear.
OA taught me the 'one day at a time' mentality, which is a far better way to live. For 24 hours, I can do anything. I don't have to project into tomorrow, worrying about what I will eat or not eat. I don't have to think in terms of 'never' and 'forever'..............I ONLY have to concern myself with TODAY and NOW.
How refreshing it is to live that way! Living for today also means that I am able to say I've had 'enough' food.........if my stomach is reasonably full, I CAN stop eating with the knowledge that I will get to eat again tomorrow.
Without the need to worry about tomorrow or the future in general, I am free to live TODAY, and I can allow myself joy and happiness. When I was eating compulsively, I lived for the future; I HAD to have something to look forward to......and normally, it would be excess/rich food and drink. If I had nothing planned for the future in terms of escape, I was depressed & sad.
Nowadays, living for today and for the moment, I feel empowered to stay the course without fear and anxiety dragging me down the abyss to compulsive overeating to 'cope'.
For today, I am grateful TO be living for today! Yesterday is gone & tomorrow isn't here yet.
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