For Today: March 14th

For Today: March 14th

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Like it or not, I am part of a world that searches after possessions and prestige as if they are the key to happiness. Owning certain luxuries is called “living well.” But is it, really? Living well is an internal condition, not an external one. It means feeling good about myself. If I rely on something outside myself---possessions, people, places---the good feeling can be taken away as easily as it is given.

I want my feeling of worth to come from within, my place in the world to come from being at peace with myself. That is what the twelve-step program promises, and delivers. The inner peace I achieve as I grow in the program enables me to provide for all  my needs.

For Today: I cannot will myself to have peace of mind, but I can re-examine my priorities. Am I putting enough time and effort into activities that nurture my spirit?

I’ve gone from rags to riches & back to rags once again. I’ve lived life from both perspectives & one thing I 

 can say with 100% certainty: Money can’t buy ya love. Neither can ‘stuff’. Material possessions do not bring happiness; they just take up space.

When I was young & first living on my own, I’d steal cans of tuna from the grocery store, that’s how poor I was.  After I got married, my financial picture improved on a yearly basis. Notice I didn’t say my Life improved on a yearly basis, only my financial profile. 

 I went from living in the upstairs rental unit of a private home *which was more a bedroom than an apartment* to living in a 5,300 square foot mansion on 2 acres of land with the mountains in my backyard & driving a Range Rover.

My happiness & sense of self-worth cannot be established from wealth; from people, places or things….it must come from my soul, from inside mySELF.  That level of contentment was always elusive to me, no matter what I had, no matter where I lived, no matter WHAT.

When I found the 12 Steps is when I finally got on the road to spiritual well-being & true happiness that came from within.  Restricting my food intake through abstinence & Medifast, I was finally able to see things for what they truly WERE.  I was living in denial and trying to fill up my spiritual void with THINGS instead of FEELINGS.

In 2003, I gave up my financial security & struck out on my own.  These days, I have money worries from time to time, but I have spiritual contentment to replace a fat checkbook.  I remarried a man who mows lawns for a living & can’t give me anything but Love. That’s all I ever really WANTED, anyway, was someone to bond with, someone to love, and someone to listen to me.

While I may live a modest lifestyle financially these days, I live with my soul-mate who completes me as a human being. I live with God in my life, and He nourishes my Soul. 

 Today, I have everything I Need which means I also have everything I’ve ever Wanted. My life is finally ENOUGH, I am finally ENOUGH. I’ve been on a futile quest to find  the Meaning of Life & looking for it in all the wrong places.

The Meaning of Life is Love. The Meaning of Life is feeling fulfilled with very little. The Meaning of Life is to find contentment & peace inside MYSELF

I wouldn’t trade my new life for my old life, no matter what! Financial security isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

For today, I pray to keep alive the knowledge that spiritual poverty is so much worse than financial poverty can EVER be.

For today, I pray to be grateful for the beauty & comfort of my life as it is NOW.

For today, I am grateful to find more enjoyment from shopping at Goodwill than Nordstrom.