Recovery
Meditations: October 12th
GRIEF
“To spare oneself from
grief at all cost
can be achieved only
at the price of a total detachment,
which excludes the
ability to experience happiness.”
Erich Fromm
In the years before program I lived in a bland state of
non-feeling and I ran away from all painful emotions, especially loss and
grief. Of course my drug of choice was always there to keep the painful
emotions at bay. Whenever I experienced any kind of loss, I was always able to
focus my attention on other things. Instead of feeling my own emotions, I
focused on being strong for someone else whose loss I perceived to be greater
than mine. For some strange reason I didn’t think I had the right to grieve.
After losing a beloved cat recently, I was overwhelmed by
all the painful emotions of loss and grief. It was almost as though all of my
previous losses were combined into this latest loss, but instead of running
from my feelings, I allowed myself the luxury of grieving for my cat who was so
special to me. This time I didn’t need to run away into my addiction. Of course
it was hard and painful, but I know that allowing myself to feel even
uncomfortable feelings like this is part of being alive and that means allowing
myself to feel both the positive emotions and the negative ones.
One day at a time...
I will allow myself
to feel both the good emotions and the bad ones. Because I have a program, I
don’t need to blot them out with addictive behavior.
~ Sharon S.
**********************************
Each Day A New Beginning
...there
are two entirely opposite attitudes possible in facing the problems of
one's life. One, to try and change the external world, the other, to try
and change oneself.
—Joanna Field
God grant us the courage to change what we can - ourselves. How difficult it is to let go of our struggles to control and change someone else. How frequently we assume that everything would be fine if only someone else would change. All that needs to change is an attitude, our own.
Taking responsibility for improving one's own life is an important step toward emotional health. Blaming another for our circumstances keeps us stuck and offers no hope for improved conditions. Personal power is as available as our decision to use it. And it is bolstered by all the strength we'll ever need. The decision to take our lives in hand will exhilarate us. The decision each day to be thoughtful, prayerful, and wholly responsible for all that we do will nourish our developing selves. Each responsible choice moves us toward our wholeness, strengthening our sense of self, our well-being.
I will change only who I can today: myself.
Each Day A New Beginning
—Joanna Field
God grant us the courage to change what we can - ourselves. How difficult it is to let go of our struggles to control and change someone else. How frequently we assume that everything would be fine if only someone else would change. All that needs to change is an attitude, our own.
Taking responsibility for improving one's own life is an important step toward emotional health. Blaming another for our circumstances keeps us stuck and offers no hope for improved conditions. Personal power is as available as our decision to use it. And it is bolstered by all the strength we'll ever need. The decision to take our lives in hand will exhilarate us. The decision each day to be thoughtful, prayerful, and wholly responsible for all that we do will nourish our developing selves. Each responsible choice moves us toward our wholeness, strengthening our sense of self, our well-being.
I will change only who I can today: myself.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Time past is gone forever, and we can never go back to it. Even our disease progresses forward. We cannot expect to control it by a return to measures, which may have worked for a time in the past. Those methods eventually failed, and trying them again will only bring us to the same point of failure.
The only way to avoid repetitious failure is to move forward creatively as our Higher Power leads us. Each day is a new creation, and each day brings new lessons and opportunities. We build on what is past, but we do not need to repeat it.
Moving forward involves risking what is unknown. The old, familiar rut, depressing as it is, is a known quantity. Moving out of it requires that we have courage and that we trust in One who knows and cares. To move on, we must act. Insights do not produce growth until they are accompanied by specific actions.
May I risk new actions as You lead me forward.
************************************
The Language of Letting Go
During Times of Grief
The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to "cocoon for transformation," in Pat Carnes's words, while going through grief.
We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.
Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.
It's okay to be gentle with ourselves when we're gong through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.
It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.
Before long, we will take wings and fly.
God, help me accept my changed needs during times of grief, change, and loss.
*********************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
--Aldous Huxley
This is a hard concept for us addicts to get. We believed avoidance was a form of self-care. Our illness depended on our ability to deny its existence. Only when we were bleeding out of every pore of our body, were we willing to admit that maybe there was a slight problem. We were afraid of the facts. To face the facts meant dealing with betraying our illness. It meant admitting we were lost and in need of help from others.
Recovery, from Step One on, is about confronting our issues straight on. We take personal inventory a lot in order to break through our denial and bond with the truth. We face, directly when possible, the people we have hurt because the fact is we have hurt many and we have a responsibility to try to help heal these wounds. As we do these actions, we watch ourselves become stronger. Our confidence – not arrogance – grows. Do we always like facing the facts? No! But our lives aren't based only on feelings anymore. They are based on doing the next right thing.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, with Your help and guidance I can break through my wall of denial. Show me the things I need to face.
Today's Action
Sometime during the day, I will sit down and make a list of issues I am avoiding. I'll commit to talking with my sponsor about what is on the list.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
--Aldous Huxley
This is a hard concept for us addicts to get. We believed avoidance was a form of self-care. Our illness depended on our ability to deny its existence. Only when we were bleeding out of every pore of our body, were we willing to admit that maybe there was a slight problem. We were afraid of the facts. To face the facts meant dealing with betraying our illness. It meant admitting we were lost and in need of help from others.
Recovery, from Step One on, is about confronting our issues straight on. We take personal inventory a lot in order to break through our denial and bond with the truth. We face, directly when possible, the people we have hurt because the fact is we have hurt many and we have a responsibility to try to help heal these wounds. As we do these actions, we watch ourselves become stronger. Our confidence – not arrogance – grows. Do we always like facing the facts? No! But our lives aren't based only on feelings anymore. They are based on doing the next right thing.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, with Your help and guidance I can break through my wall of denial. Show me the things I need to face.
Today's Action
Sometime during the day, I will sit down and make a list of issues I am avoiding. I'll commit to talking with my sponsor about what is on the list.
You are reading from the book:
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