Recovery
Meditations: October 3rd
TRUTH
"The truth will
set you free,
but first it will make
you miserable."
James A. Garfield
After years of therapy, I thought I knew myself fairly well.
I prided myself on my integrity, honesty and responsible nature; however, my
morbid obesity and compulsive overeating reflected the exact opposite of these
values. After breaking many resolutions to myself, starting and stopping
countless diets, and continuing to have no control over my eating, I began to
doubt my integrity. How could I keep a commitment to everyone I knew and yet
break my promises to myself over and over again? It wasn't until in a moment of
frustrated clarity I blurted out, "I'm acting like an addict!"
Finally I experienced my own truth.
I am an addict. I am addicted to food. I use food to fill
the gaping black hole within me. I use food to anesthetize my pain. As a
compulsive overeater, I stuff my face rather than face my stuff.
Working the Steps allowed me to see that even though I
thought I valued honesty, I was constantly lying to myself about my compulsive
eating. Becoming abstinent from compulsive eating removed the veils of delusion
and dishonesty that I had over my eyes. Living this program, one day at a time,
freed me from compulsive lying to myself as well as compulsive eating. Telling
the truth, while sometimes very difficult, has let me live happy, joyously, and
free.
One day at a time...
I will work the Steps
honestly, tell the truth about my life, and be the person of integrity my
Higher Power always intended for me to be.
~ Bernadette B.
*****************************************
Each Day A New Beginning
Ambiguity
means admitting more than one response to a situation and allowing
yourself to be aware of those contradictory responses. You may want
something and fear it at the same time. You may find it both beautiful
and ugly.
—Tristine Rainer
Flexibility is a goal worth the striving. It eases our relations with others, and it stretches our realm of awareness. Letting go of rigid adherence to what our perceptions were yesterday assures us of heightened understanding of life's variables and lessons.
Being torn between two decisions, feeling ambivalent about them need not create consternation, though it often does. Hopefully, it will encourage us to pray for direction, and then to be responsive to the guidance. And we must keep in mind that no decision is ever wrong. It may lead us astray for a time, but it will also introduce us to uncharted territories, which offer many opportunities for flexibility.
Contradictory responses, our own and also ours in relations with others, keep us on our toes, lend an element of excitement to our lives, and push us to think creatively about our perceptions. Growth and change are guaranteed.
I will be in tune with myself today. I will let my perceptions guide me.
—Tristine Rainer
Flexibility is a goal worth the striving. It eases our relations with others, and it stretches our realm of awareness. Letting go of rigid adherence to what our perceptions were yesterday assures us of heightened understanding of life's variables and lessons.
Being torn between two decisions, feeling ambivalent about them need not create consternation, though it often does. Hopefully, it will encourage us to pray for direction, and then to be responsive to the guidance. And we must keep in mind that no decision is ever wrong. It may lead us astray for a time, but it will also introduce us to uncharted territories, which offer many opportunities for flexibility.
Contradictory responses, our own and also ours in relations with others, keep us on our toes, lend an element of excitement to our lives, and push us to think creatively about our perceptions. Growth and change are guaranteed.
I will be in tune with myself today. I will let my perceptions guide me.
*********************************************
Food For Thought
Success comes with commitment. We cannot maintain abstinence, or a marriage, or a profession, or anything else without being committed to it. Genuine commitment is the attitude required of us if we are to benefit from OA. The program is not something we pick up and put down when we feel like it. If abstinence is not the most important thing in our lives, we will not be able to maintain it.
Sharing our commitment out loud, with another person, reinforces it. We need to stay in contact with our OA friends. It is during the busy times that we especially need to remember our priorities. A phone call plugs us in to the group strength, which sustains our individual efforts.
The physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits, which come to us every day as we abstain and work the Twelve Steps, are what nourish us. Being committed to the OA program is our strength and our recovery.
Make firm my commitment to Your way.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
****************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Surrender to the pain. Then learn to surrender to the good. It's there and more is on the way.
—Beyond Codependency
Our goal in recovery is to make us feel comfortable, peaceful, and content. Happy. We want to be at peace with our environment and ourselves. Sometimes, to do that, we need to be willing to face, feel, and get through discomfort.
I am not talking here about being addicted to misery and pain. I am not talking about creating unnecessary pain. I'm talking about the legitimate discomfort we sometimes need to feel as we heal.
When we have surgery, the pain hurts most the day after the operation. When we do the kind of work we are facing in recovery, we are doing an emotional, mental, and spiritual surgery on ourselves. We're removing parts of us that are infected and inflamed.
Sometimes the process hurts. We are strong enough to survive discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain. Once we are willing to face and feel our discomfort and pain, we are almost to the point of release.
Today, I am willing to face my discomfort, trusting that healing and release are on the other side. Help me, God; be open to feeling whatever I need to feel to be healed and healthy. While I am doing this, I will trust I am cared for and protected by my friends, my Higher Power, the Universe, and myself.
*********************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
My greatest achievement was my relationship with the young son of a good friend.
-- Maria Regnier Krimmel
Maria was a world renowned silversmith. Because she is female, this was considered an even greater achievement, and yet she considered a particular relationship with a youngster to have been more important than having her work owned by famous people and on display in the finest museums. How do we judge the relationships in our lives? Have they mattered as much to us as our careers or our hobbies?
Naturally, we each have to answer that question for ourselves. For some of us, relationships were often difficult, whether at work or in the family. Some of us sought intimacy with others but failed to achieve it due to forces beyond our control. Our experiences are as different as are our personalities. But we're not too old to forge better relationships with others if that's our desire.
How do we determine if it's a relationship that we long for? Monitoring one's feelings and thoughts will offer clues. Are we lonely? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? Do we seem to be always "waiting" for something or someone else to change our lives? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, let's reach out to someone today. Offering friendship is the only way a relationship can begin. If we want one, we must do our part.
How I spend today will be my decision. If I want to share it with someone else, I'd better make the first move.
My greatest achievement was my relationship with the young son of a good friend.
-- Maria Regnier Krimmel
Maria was a world renowned silversmith. Because she is female, this was considered an even greater achievement, and yet she considered a particular relationship with a youngster to have been more important than having her work owned by famous people and on display in the finest museums. How do we judge the relationships in our lives? Have they mattered as much to us as our careers or our hobbies?
Naturally, we each have to answer that question for ourselves. For some of us, relationships were often difficult, whether at work or in the family. Some of us sought intimacy with others but failed to achieve it due to forces beyond our control. Our experiences are as different as are our personalities. But we're not too old to forge better relationships with others if that's our desire.
How do we determine if it's a relationship that we long for? Monitoring one's feelings and thoughts will offer clues. Are we lonely? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? Do we seem to be always "waiting" for something or someone else to change our lives? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, let's reach out to someone today. Offering friendship is the only way a relationship can begin. If we want one, we must do our part.
How I spend today will be my decision. If I want to share it with someone else, I'd better make the first move.
You are reading from the book:
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