Recovery
Meditations: October 10th
TOLERANCE
“I have learned
silence from the talkative,
toleration from the
intolerant, and kindness
from the unkind; yet,
strange, I am ungrateful
to those teachers.”
Khalil Gibran
Two of my biggest character defects are arrogance and fear.
I used to have a hard time tolerating people who are not like me. When I was
driven by fear, anger, and shame, I believed they threatened my social
position. A normal day for me was filled with frustration and anger at people I
didn’t like. Gossip was my language.
After I decided that I was truly powerless over my addiction
and that my life had become really unmanageable, I surrendered. I started
writing the suggested Step work and had a great awakening. In the 4th Step
inventory, I came to the conclusion that I did not like “different people”
because I was afraid to be like them. And what were they like? Just like me. I
didn't like myself. That was one of the most revealing acknowledgements that
were given to me. I have no reason to pick a fight anymore, nor discuss or
judge any person. When I meet people I do not like, I know why.
One day at a time...
My greatest teachers
are those who have shown me what I do not like or accept about myself. I
understand that I would never have appreciated these lessons as precious gifts
without the understanding, growth and tolerance within the 12 Step fellowship.
Today I make a living amend by never judging or disliking any person. Every
human being is a creature of God as I understand him, and who am I to judge?
~ Trine
_________________________________________________________
Each Day A New Beginning
—Billie Holiday
Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to the psyche that nearly any battle can cause. Nonresistance is the safer way to chart our daily course.
Bowing with the wind, flowing with the tide, eases the steps we need to take, the steps that will carry us to our personal fulfillment. Part of the process of our growth is learning to slide past the negative situations that confront us, coming to understand that we are in this life to fulfill a unique purpose. The many barriers that get in our way can strengthen our reliance on God if we'll let them. People or situations need never thwart us. We will profit from taking all experiences in our stride. The course we travel is the one we chart. The progress we make toward our life goals is proportionate to the smoothness of our steps.
I will flow with the tide. It will assuredly move me closer to my destination.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
I am powerless over food. By myself, I am unable to control what I eat or manage my life. Thanks to OA, I have found a Higher Power by which I am learning to live a new life.
So that this Higher Power may live in me, I surrender myself. No longer do I try to live by my own efforts; no longer do I try by myself to control what I eat. Since I am powerless over food and cannot manage my life, I give myself to God as I understand Him and ask that He live through me.
When I surrender, my Higher Power takes over. Then, instead of being weak and powerless, I become strong through His strength. So very simple. I wonder why it takes so long to learn? The only requirement is, in the words of T.S. Eliot, "a condition of complete simplicity, costing not less than everything."
May I remember that without You I am powerless.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.
The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.
Maybe the relationship feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or morally superior to the other person.
Some of us feel alleviated from financial or other kinds of responsibility by staying in a particular relationship.
"My father sexually abused me when I was a child," said one woman. "I went on to spend the next twenty years blackmailing him emotionally and financially on this. I could get money from him whenever I wanted, and I never had to take financial responsibility for myself."
Realizing that we may have gotten a codependent payoff from a relationship is not a cause for shame. It means we are searching out the blocks in ourselves that may be stopping our growth.
We can take responsibility for the part we may have played in keeping ourselves victimized. When we are willing to look honestly and fearlessly at the payoff and let it go, we will find the healing we've been seeking. We'll also be ready to receive the positive, healthy payoffs available in relationships, the payoffs we really want and need.
Today, I will be open to looking at the payoffs I may have received from staying in unhealthy relationships, or from keeping destructive systems operating. I will become ready to let go of my need to stay in unhealthy systems; I am ready to face myself.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
--Sebastian R. N. Champort
We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter, there also is life. They say that people who laugh a lot live longer than do the sour-faced. When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise is sincere. Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us lonely misers. We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift.
Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.
The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
--Sebastian R. N. Champort
We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter, there also is life. They say that people who laugh a lot live longer than do the sour-faced. When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise is sincere. Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us lonely misers. We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift.
Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.
You are reading from the book:
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