Recovery Meditations: October 18th
Looking for Love
“The most important
thing in life
is to learn how to
give out love,
and to let it come
in.”
Morrie Schwartz
As a compulsive overeater I was always looking outside of
myself for love, yet I was terrified of letting it in. “What if it hurts me
once I let it in?” I was just as afraid of giving out love. “What if I lost
myself or was taken advantage of?” My life was ruled by fear, and at a very
young age I discovered the false security of food. I used food as a source of
companionship and as a way to numb out my pain. It became a substitute for
love.
As the disease gained control, the more I ate and the more
shut down I became. I built huge walls around myself. As the weight came on, I
was convinced that this was the reason people didn’t love me the way that I
wanted to be loved. I believed that “if only I was thin enough” I would get
what I wanted. It never occurred to me that I was already so full of the food
that there was no room inside to receive anything else.
When I came into program and began to put down the food, I
slowly discovered that this love that I was searching for was within me all
along. My Higher Power is love and dwells within and all around me. In recovery
I am graced with the freedom to act out of love and therefore be with my Higher
Power.
One day at a time...
I will choose to act
out of love and to keep my heart open to the love that my Higher Power brings
into my life. If I just open my eyes, my ears and my heart, it is everywhere.
~ Jessica M.
**********************************************
Each Day A New Beginning
—Wilhelmina Kemp Johnstone
Requesting help. Admitting we are wrong. Owning our mistake in either a big or small matter. Asking for another chance or someone's love. All very difficult to do, and yet necessary if we are to grow. The difficulty is our pride, the big ego. We think, "We need to always be right. If we're wrong, then others may think less of us, look down on us, and question our worth." Perfectionism versus worthlessness.
If we are not perfect (and of course we never are), then we must be worthless. In between these two points on the scale is "being human." Our emotional growth, as women, is equal to how readily we accept our humanness, how able we are to be wrong. With humility comes a softness that smooths our every experience, our every relationship. Pride makes us hard, keeps us hard, keeps others away, and sets us up for the fall.
I will let myself be human today. It will soften my vision of life.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Seeking the Best
We will never be satisfied with less than the best. When we were overeating, we may have settled for less than we were capable of being and achieving, but we were not happy about it. There is something in each of us that hungers for maximum growth and development.
When we stop drugging ourselves with food, we become aware of new possibilities and areas of growth. By controlling our disease, we release potential that had been buried under our obsession. As we come to know our Higher Power through this program, our appetite for the best is reawakened. Though we realize we will never achieve perfection, we are challenged to be and do the best that we can, just for today.
The best force there is directs lives that are committed to the care of God. Only by dedication to knowing and doing His will is our search satisfied.
We seek You, Lord.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Surrendering is a highly personal and spiritual experience.
Surrender is not something we can do in our heads. It is not something we can force or control by willpower. It is something we experience.
Acceptance, or surrender, is not a tidy package. Often, it is a package full of hard feelings - anger, rage, and sadness, followed by release and relief. As we surrender, we experience our frustration and anger at God, at other people, at ourselves, and at life. Then we come to the core of the pain and sadness, the heavy emotional burden inside that must come out before we can feel good. Often, these emotions are connected to healing and release at a deep level.
Surrender sets the wheels in motion. Our fear and anxiety about the future are released when we surrender.
We are protected. We are guided. Good things have been planned. The next step is now being taken. Surrender is the process that allows us to move forward. It is how our Higher Power moves us forward. Trust in the rightness of timing, and the freedom at the other end, as you struggle humanly through this spiritual experience.
I will be open to the process of surrender in my life. I will allow myself all the awkward and potent emotions that must be released.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
We like someone because, we love someone although.
--Henri de Montherlant
--Henri de Montherlant
Families are like scissors. They are joined in the middle but often spread wide apart, moving away from each other. When we're not feeling close to other family members - when it's hard even to like them - it seems as though we'll never come together again.
But pity the scrap of paper that comes between our scissor blades! The scissors works together again and slices the trouble clean. When trouble threatens our family, we can slice it through if we move together in love and acceptance.
No matter our small differences, we are part of the same living organism, in a way. The family we live in has been together for many generations, and we are just the most recent members. When we look at one another, we see the products of centuries of love.
When I feel distant from my family, can I locate where we are still joined together?
You are reading from the book:
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