The Language of Letting Go: November 1st

Transformation through Grief

We're striving for acceptance in recovery - acceptance of our past, other people, our present circumstances, and ourselves. Acceptance brings peace, healing, and freedom - the freedom to take care of ourselves.

Acceptance is not a one step process. Before we achieve acceptance, we go toward it in stages of denial, anger, negotiating, and sadness. We call these stages the grief process. Grief can be frustrating. It can be confusing. We may vacillate between sadness and denial. Our behaviors may vacillate. Others may not understand us. We may neither understand our own behavior nor ourselves while we're grieving our losses. Then one day, things become clear. The fog lifts, and we see that we have been struggling to face and accept a particular reality.

Don't worry. If we are taking steps to take care of ourselves, we will move through this process at exactly the right pace. Be understanding with yourself and others for the very human way we go through transition.

Today, I will accept the way I go through change. I will accept the grief process, and its stages, as the way people accept loss and change.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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In order to arrive at the Acceptance stage of Recovery, we must first go through all the other stages of grief.  We're saying goodbye to those 'comfort' foods as our drug of choice, and having a funeral for all of our favorites. It's only natural to feel denial, anger & sadness along the way. And it's only natural to start bargaining for what we want.  That's the "I'll eat today & start the diet Monday" mentality.  Bargaining keeps us mired IN the disease and using denial to STAY there. 

The only way out of a situation is THROUGH it. When we allow ourselves to experience the stages of grief, that is when we finally reach the Acceptance phase and life gets a whole lot easier.  Unfortunately, most of us waffle back & forth through the first 4 stages, and we can STAY there if we're not careful.

I reached the Acceptance phase of my journey after acknowledging the fact that I cannot eat sugar and stay abstinent at the same time.  This comes, mind you, after 5 years! I'd regained 15 lbs after having my teeth pulled out in December, and it took me 7 months to get back to plan!  I came back, finally, after issuing the following statement:

I DO NOT EAT SUGAR PERIOD

Uttering that statement forces me to accept the fact that I am an addict, and cannot tolerate sugar 'in moderation'.  So.........as long as I don't eat sugar, I'm golden.  It's been over 3 months since I've had sugar, and my mind and soul is in a much better place NOW than it was before I decided to eliminate sugar from my life.

Abstinence requires brutal honesty, and the willingness to pass THROUGH the stages of grief as they come.

For today, I will accept the way I go through change. I will accept the grief process, and its stages, as the way people accept loss & change. And finally, I will not poo-poo this grief process away, saying it's not applicable to food. As long as I am abusing food, it IS applicable.  Sugar is more addictive than cocaine.