Food for Thought: November 7th

Food Is Not Mother

In the mind of a baby; "food" is synonymous with "mother." As the baby grows, the two concepts become differentiated, but perhaps never completely separated. We compulsive overeaters may still be confusing food with mother.

Often we feel a great deal of hostility and resentment toward our mother - she did not give us enough love, or she gave us the wrong kind; she over fed us, or she denied us what we needed. We may still be searching the refrigerator for the perfect mother! Isn't it about time to realize that she is not there?

No matter what we eat, or how much, we cannot turn back the clock and again become part of our mother. Perhaps instead of being inadequate, our mother was such a great source of comfort and satisfaction that we do not want to face life without a substitute for her presence. Our Higher Power intends that we come to depend on Him even more than we once depended on our mother. He daily offers us a relationship of even greater love and closeness than the one between mother and child. To grow in that relationship requires abstinence from compulsive overeating.

I turn over to You my relationship with my mother.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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I think I've spent the past 5 decades searching the refrigerator for the perfect mother? And yes, it IS about time to realize she's not in there.

I was overfed continuously as an infant and child, then sent to Weight Watchers at 12 years old because I was overweight. I had to eat eat and EAT, and if I didn't, then I wasn't a good girl.  Then when I became overweight as a result of all that overeating, I STILL wasn't a good girl. What a vicious cycle.

Every time I am in my mother's presence, I feel the need to overeat. If we are at the grocery store, I've been known to run down the junk food aisle and place a bag of pretzels in my cart, just to feel 'safe' and to have my trusty old 'friend' food to help me cope with the chaos of the moment.  Wherever mother goes, chaos follows.........and my old coping skills STILL kick in, to this day. I've been known to throw the pretzels out when I get home, but they provided me with comfort for the moment, because I knew they were THERE.
Ridiculous, but typical of COE behavior.

For today, I rely on my Higher Power as a source of comfort, regardless of any chaos that may surround me.  Pretzels cannot provide the comfort I seek...........even when I think they WILL. Only God can provide me with the inner peace I seek.

Amen to I turn over to You my relationship with my mother.