Getting It All Out
Let yourself have a good gripe session.
From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction"
—Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.
What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden FoundationLet yourself have a good gripe session.
From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction"
—Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.
What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.
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Oftentimes, I feel like a failure if I 'get it all out' of my system. I'm supposed to be 'perfect' and 'together', and if I'm griping or complaining, well that means I'm NOT perfect or together. But..........perfection and keeping things together at all times is fraud. It's an illusion. A fantasy. When I keep my fantasies alive is when I ditch Recovery and live with addiction, and the need to stuff DOWN my feelings instead of letting them OUT.
Above all else, I am human. As a human being, I am not designed to be perfect or together at all times. I am intended to be vulnerable and to show my true self to others, allowing the chips to fall where they might. Who am I to play God by upholding a pretense of perfection? And that's what it IS: A PRETENSE! I have my frailties, just like everyone else, and it is a relief to admit them rather than holding onto some illusion for the sake of appearances.
I am not a phony. I am a real live, human woman with imperfections galore. I am not a victim, nor am I a martyr. I have self-doubt, unreasonable anger, weariness, fear, sadness, hurt........ALL of it. And I am ALLOWED to express those emotions freely and without hating myself for it!
For today, I will let my humanity show. In the process, I give others permission to be human too. For today, I allow myself to be imperfect and not quite so 'together.' Today I will hang out in my scruffy clothes, without makeup, and put my hair up in a clip.
Today I will allow myself to be ME!
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