Letting People Be There for Us
Sometimes, we need nurturing. Sometimes, we need people to support us.
Many of us have been deprived of support and nurturing for so long we may not realize it's something we want and need. Many of us have learned to block or stop ourselves from getting what we want and need.
We may not reach out to have our needs met. We may be in relationships with people who cannot or will not be available to meet our needs. Or we may be in relationships with people who would be happy to respond to a direct request from us.
We may have to give up something to do this. We may have to let go of our martyr or victim role. If we ask for what we want and need, and get those needs met, we will not be able to punish people, or push them away later on, for disappointing us.
We may have to let go of our fears enough to experience the intimacy that will occur when we allow someone to love and support us. We may even have to learn, one day at a time, how to be happy and content.
Learn to let others be there for us.
Today, I will be open to identifying what I need from people, and I will ask for what I want directly. I will let others be there for me.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
***********************************************
I have a step-daughter who displays co-dependent behavior such as this ALL the time. She will never directly ask for something, but she will take round-about ways to place guilt and obligation on her Dad to get what she wants. She refuses to be direct and ask for help. Maintaining a 'victim' mentality at all times prevents her from accepting her role as an adult who is willing to bear the responsibility of behaving an adult.
I have a step-daughter who displays co-dependent behavior such as this ALL the time. She will never directly ask for something, but she will take round-about ways to place guilt and obligation on her Dad to get what she wants. She refuses to be direct and ask for help. Maintaining a 'victim' mentality at all times prevents her from accepting her role as an adult who is willing to bear the responsibility of behaving an adult.
Agreeing to be happy & content is a choice; agreeing to live in the victim mode is another choice. Part of growing up at ANY age is agreeing to ask for help and support when we need it. Running the world alone & by oneself is an impossible task.
For today, I pray to be relieved of my tendency toward fierce independence, and for the willingness to ask for help when I need it.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.