Food for Thought: December 26th

Control

Control was something we either feared or did not know much about before we began the OA program. We resisted control as being opposed to our idea of spontaneous living, especially spontaneous eating, Control was for other people - our children perhaps - but not for us.

Without control, we watched as self-will ran riot with our lives. We ate what we pleased, and then, angry and depressed, we said what we pleased and did what we pleased. The problem was that we ended up being not at all "pleased," but full of disgust and despair. Dimly, we may have realized that our suffering was due to lack of self-control, but we did not know how to go about acquiring what we lacked.

By relinquishing our so-called control to a Higher Power, we learn what it means to be free. By using the OA concept of abstinence to control our eating, we find spontaneity in living. Rather than inhibiting us, the kind of control we develop through this program liberates us from the bondage of self-will.

Control my life, I pray.

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Self-will ran riot with my life. I ate what I pleased, and then, angry & depressed, I said what I pleased & did what I pleased.  The problem was, I ended up be not at all 'pleased' but full of disgust and despair.  Perfectly, perfectly stated; compulsive overeating in a nutshell.

When I finally surrendered to a Food Plan of abstinence on June 11, 2008, I put aside everything I 'knew' to embrace everything 'new.'  I put aside my self-will, relinquishing my control to God.  Through controlled eating I was able to find spontaneity and FREEDOM!  Pretty odd concept for me, the queen of control-freaks!

For today, I am grateful to be free from the bondage of self will, and the huge EGO that supports such behavior.  While I am far from perfect, for today, I choose to be abstinent and that is better, and more freeing, than ANY food on earth can EVER be!