SELF-KNOWLEDGE
“The world we have created is a product of our thinking.
It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
Albert Einstein
The world I created before finding the Twelve Steps of recovery was a world in which I had no responsibility. Everything bad in my life was someone else’s fault: my parents’, my husband’s, society’s, and, when there was no one else to blame, it was God’s fault.
As I worked Step 4, I learned that I had been a part of all of these things for which I blamed others. I learned that I had defects of character that kept me from taking part in my life. As I recognized these defects, I asked my Higher Power to remove them, and that gradually happened.
One of the things I had tried to do for many years was bury my feelings of grief and pain. I seemed to have managed that fairly well, but in doing so, I had also buried all the other emotion. I no longer took enjoyment in anything. My child’s smile evoked no feeling and I felt no pride in anything I did. I felt none of the love that others gave to me. As I started dealing with the painful feelings, the positive emotions emerged as well.
The promise the Big Book speaks of became true for me: I no longer regretted the past nor wished to shut the door on it. I was able to feel my hurt and grief. Now I am also able to feel love and happiness. I have learned how to change my thinking through the process of working these wonderful Steps.
One Day at a Time . . .
I do a daily 10th, 11th and 12th Step and am reminded that it is my responsibility to listen to my Higher Power and do my part in creating the world around me.
~ Nancy
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Whenever I feel like pointing a finger at somebody else, I must first point that finger INWARD, at myself. My life situation is nobody's 'fault', and there is no point in blaming someone else for any unhappiness I experience.
Whenever I feel like pointing a finger at somebody else, I must first point that finger INWARD, at myself. My life situation is nobody's 'fault', and there is no point in blaming someone else for any unhappiness I experience.
Burying my feelings of grief and/or pain in food and alcohol also buries my feelings of joy & freedom. Addiction has a way of ruining everything.........the good AND the bad. How can I feel pride and self-respect when I'm over-indulging in food or practicing other addictive behavior?
What keeps me on the straight and narrow is KNOWING how I will feel the day after I fall off the wagon. I won't be able to wake up and thank God for another day of abstinence and sobriety, and I won't feel good about myself at ALL.
I now have 39 months of 100% sobriety with booze, and for that I am extremely grateful & proud of myself. I don't have 39 months of food sobriety, however, since I still have my bad moments and struggles with trigger food. What I NEED to do is view my food plan just as seriously as I view my sobriety; the two addictions are equally important, and should be treated exactly the same.
What keeps me on the straight and narrow is KNOWING how I will feel the day after I fall off the wagon. I won't be able to wake up and thank God for another day of abstinence and sobriety, and I won't feel good about myself at ALL.
I now have 39 months of 100% sobriety with booze, and for that I am extremely grateful & proud of myself. I don't have 39 months of food sobriety, however, since I still have my bad moments and struggles with trigger food. What I NEED to do is view my food plan just as seriously as I view my sobriety; the two addictions are equally important, and should be treated exactly the same.
For today, I pray to change my thinking enough to recognize the seriousness of sticking to my food plan 100% of the time, with no exceptions. If I do not, nobody is to blame but ME.
For today, I will let go and let God, by surrendering it ALL to Him
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