Friends and Enemies
Sometimes our friends or members of our family urge us to eat food that is not part of our plan. If we allow ourselves to be manipulated into eating something to please someone else, we are in danger of losing the most important thing in our life - abstinence. Anyone who tries to make us feel uncomfortable because of our illness is acting as an enemy, rather than a friend.
To some people close to us, an explanation of our food plan may be helpful. Repeated discussions, however, are usually unnecessary and unproductive. We alone are responsible for what we put into our mouths. If those around us cannot or will not understand, then that is their problem, not ours.
When confronted with food, which we know is harmful to us, the simplest response is a firm "No, thank you." When we ourselves are determined to maintain abstinence, no one else, whether friend or enemy, can prevent us from following our plan.
Protect me, Lord, from my friends and enemies.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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"No thank you" seems to be one of THE hardest statements a compulsive overeater can utter. We try to please others, at our own expense, by indulging in food we KNOW will be harmful to our recovery. We come up with a list of excuses as to why we 'had' to eat the meal that was prepared with love.
Food is not love. Love is love. Food is fuel. Trigger food can & does lead us down the road to misery & self-hatred each & every time we eat it.
I am responsible for what goes into my mouth. If others are unhappy with MY food choices, that is their problem and not mine. I will never apologize for my recovery, NEVER.
My mother is a food pusher extraordinare. Last time we went to her house for dinner, I asked her to please prepare a simple roast chicken with several vegetables & salad. I explained to her that I needed her HELP in order to stay on track with my recovery. Please Mom, respect my wishes & don't prepare ANYTHING but what I've requested.
She prepared a meal that was exactly what I'd asked for! My respect for HER grew by leaps and bounds that day, because she'd finally 'heard' me & recognized MY needs! But, had I not asked her specifically for a certain type of meal, I would have had nobody to blame but MYSELF. She would have laid out a spread full of all trigger foods and then I would have been in an uncomfortable situation, trying to decide whether to stay abstinent or risk it ALL, 'just this once.'
For today, I make my program work because it's just THAT important. Abstinence means freedom from chaos & for today, I choose FREEDOM!
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