Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Recovery Meditations: March 21st

Patience

"Patience is the companion of wisdom."

Saint Augustine
(354 – 430) The Bishop of Hippo, was a philosopher and theologian
and one of the most important figures in the development of Western Christianity.


Patience is an area that I have had some REAL problems with in the past. I had a tendency to want - what I want - NOW! That included recovery. Gaining recovery, as I would eventually realize, is not the same as earning a university credit. It is a process not an end result. You have to be willing to learn to do things in HP's time and manner rather than your own. What began to happen was - the more impatient I became - the more life tended to resist my efforts. It took a long time for me to realize this. Instead of calming down, I would get even more impatient and struggle even harder. Eventually, I would have a big meltdown and feel like a fool afterward.

The end result was absolutely no different for having done this. It took time for me to muster the willingness to do things in HP's time and manner. But when I did - life became much more peaceful and things had a tendency to work themselves out - without all the dramatics.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will learn to patiently and willingly do things in HP's time and manner.

~ Rob R.

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What I've found in recovery is.........patience is crucial.  Time is going to pass, one way or another, whether I'm abstinent or not.  During the weight loss phase of my journey, I'd find myself wanting to 'hurry up' the process sometimes.  What was the point? What would change at 'goal'? I still had to stick to a food plan if I wanted to keep the weight off........I wouldn't be able to go back to eating trigger foods 'in moderation' (since there IS no such thing for a COE), so what was the rush?

Once I settled down and accepted the terms of my disease, I was able to let go and let God direct my progress with weight loss.  Obsessing over my small losses wouldn't hurry things up..........it would just keep me sick and impatient.

When I decided to change my life & embrace recovery, I would remind myself there was no point in having 'a taste' of junk food, because too much wouldn't be enough.  I would never feel satisfied, even with a binge, so why get started down that path to begin with?

I had to develop patie4nce, a little at a time, with God's help and guidance.

The 'end results' of my journey is up to God.  If I fight and rail against the truth, I set myself back & I lose out ... wasting a precious moment when I could be witnessing a miracle. 

For today, I pray for the patience to live my life, one moment at a time, and to appreciate ALL of it.

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