For Today: May 9th

If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are.

John W. Gardner

As a newcomer, the first impression I had of what OA members thought of me was, “You’re fine just the way you are.”  No one made me feel that my illness rendered me less worthy of respect than other people. Taking a cue from these loving, caring friends, I stopped being ashamed of myself. The defenses I had set up fell away, and I became open to change.

One of the sharp distinctions between Overeaters Anonymous and most, if not all, other therapies I tried is this: We do not like the disease, but we never confuse the person with the disease.

For today: OA is a refuge from the harsh judgments society passes on compulsive overeaters. My fellow members need unconditional acceptance and respect, not judgments.

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As part of a weight-loss community online, I read blogs where the writer is expressing disgust at others who are obese, in spite of the fact that they themselves are obese.  I wonder, do I not have enough self-disgust of my own already?  Obesity is a crisis in this country, yet others are phobic.

When I was obese, people passed judgment on me for it. Now that I am slim, people pass judgment on me for that.

The moral of the story is, people are judgmental.

When I came to OA and attended my first meeting, I too felt no one passing judgment on me. I always make a point of telling another member how beautiful she is, or I admire what she’s wearing, or sympathize with her after the meeting about her struggles.

Being judged is an ugly thing. Being fat for the vast majority of my life led me to believe I wasn’t worthy of love or respect in any form. In OA I learned differently. In OA, I learned that I had a disease; not that I WAS a disease: that I had one.

I can read all the books in the world; I can visit all the therapists on earth; I can chart & graph & scientifically determine how to stay thin and none of it is worth a hill of beans.

What IS worth it is OA & the 12 Steps. With God by my side, I am judged kindly by the only One who really matters in the end.