For Today: May 24th

Angry men are blind and foolish, for reason at such a time takes flight and, in her absence, wrath plunders all the riches of the intellect while the judgment remains the prisoner of its own pride.

Pietro Aretino

God gave me a mind and a spirit, a capacity for love and compassion. Anger destroys those gifts as surely as compulsive overeating destroyed them. Acknowledging my anger is a positive step, but do I see its source as a defect within me? Or do I blame it on something outside myself: what someone said or did, a job, a situation, the weather, anything.  When I am angry I am no good to anyone, least of all myself.

Today I have a way to deal constructively with my anger; I have steps that lead me to freedom and a Higher Power to restore me to sanity. Am I entirely ready to have God remove my anger?

For Today: Taking responsibility for my anger by admitting it is the first step toward a return to sanity and balance.

**************************************

Step 6, Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, on the surface, seems like a super-simple step.

 Of course I am ready to have God remove my character defects!!!! 

Well, I am not always  ‘entirely ready’ to have my character defects removed. Take gossip for instance.  For a long time I thought of gossip at the office as an interesting thing. Sure I love to hear some juicy tidbits about another co-worker…because maybe then I can feel superior. Or, maybe I can select who I will repeat that bit of gossip to, and wind up ‘being in the know’ and feeling a thrill because of it….?  If I want to be rid of the character defect of being a gossip, I have to be willing to stop the behavior! It’s not enough to say I’d like God to do something that I myself am unwilling to do!

Anger is another good example. If I want to be entirely rid of my anger, I can’t also wish to hold onto it. Sometimes, it feels good to hold onto anger so I can allow myself the luxury of feeling stepped on or put down; a bunch of negative feelings entitle me to anger, and thus, allows me to practice my compulsive behaviors. If I’m justifiably angry, that permits me to feel self-righteous indignation. Hmmmpffff…..so-and-so insulted me & boy am I mad. He had no right to say what he said & now it’s ok to feel angry.

What do I get out of holding onto anger & pride?  Anger festers inside of me like an infected sore; it can build and grow out of control, and cause me harm! 

“Resentment is like drinking poison yourself & then thinking it will kill your enemies.” Nelson Mandela

When I point my finger away from myself and at someone or something else, I am refusing to look within to find the character defect that leads me to the negative emotion.

Nope, step 6 is one of the most difficult steps of all!

I want to be a better person; more compassionate, more understanding, more forgiving & more empathetic.  I would like God to help me see someone’s innocence rather than to focus on his guilt.

In order to become that sort of person, I have to be willing to give up my character defects via Steps 4, 5 & 6.

For today, I pray for the continued willingness to give up bad habits that have served me in the past. I pray for the willingness to stop gossiping, to give up my anger, to stop placing blame, and to stop complaining in general.  

For today, I pray for the willingness to see my glass as being half-full instead of half-empty.