When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too.
Anne Morrow Lindberg
The knowledge that I could not stop my self-destructive eating made me a stranger to myself. Is it any wonder that I felt isolated and apart, that my relationships were seldom what I thought they should be?
I may have made some progress in self-knowledge before, but only the OA program fills in ALL the gaps. It goes far beyond merely enabling me to see and accept myself as I am. The key—the real magic---of the 12 steps is that they replace my shabby independence with dependence on a strength that never fails me, my self-destructiveness with sane & healthful living.
I may have made some progress in self-knowledge before, but only the OA program fills in ALL the gaps. It goes far beyond merely enabling me to see and accept myself as I am. The key—the real magic---of the 12 steps is that they replace my shabby independence with dependence on a strength that never fails me, my self-destructiveness with sane & healthful living.
Today, there is no split between what I want to do and what I actually do. I am abstinent. I am in touch with my feelings and with reality. I can reach out to others and be what I would want in a friend, spouse, sister, mother or coworker.
For Today: To keep growing in self-awareness, awareness of others and of God is my highest priority. For this, I am willing to abstain and follow the directions in the steps.
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When I was in the midst of a binge was when I was most estranged from myself; scared, frightened, not knowing WHO I was or WHAT I was doing. What scary times those were. Being abstinent puts me in touch with who I really AM, and who God intended me to BE.
As Marianne Williamson so inspirationally writes:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented & fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Only through abstinence & the 12 Steps was I able to see myself for who I really am. When I am numbing myself with excess food, how can I truly be free & able to let my own light shine? I cannot DO that….my inner light is turned off. If I want my own light to shine, I will be Abstinent.
When I am practicing Abstinence & making it my number one priority, I don't have to worry about what I look like in the mirror; what size jeans I am wearing, or what number appears on the scale. When I am Abstinent I have inner peace which allows me to live my life fully, as I was intended to, without the burdens of excess food & the diet mentality weighing me down.
This is the definition of Abstinence!
This is the definition of Abstinence!
It is the inner peace I feel now, that I did not have in the previous attempts at weight loss. I think this comes from surrendering..
ReplyDeleteLove your definition of abstinence!!