Recovery Meditations: March 1st

ANONYMITY

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Albert Camus


When I first joined OA, the tool and tradition of Anonymity seemed a little strange to me. What’s wrong with people knowing what members do for work? I’m not ashamed of my career, why should I not talk about it? What’s with this cult-like behaviour around initials for names? And what do they mean by Anonymity being the spiritual foundation of recovery?

And then, bit by bit, it dawned on me. When we don’t talk about our jobs, when we don’t care about our last names, three very important things happen. First, we don’t get distracted. Second, it makes us all equal. Third, it starts us on the road of leaving judgment behind. An Elizabeth is just an Elizabeth, whether she’s a queen, a unemployed single mother or an actress. The equality that comes with that means that I am not more or less, not better or worse than you. This equality strengthens our unity. We are all in the same boat. And with this equality we can row in unity towards recovery.

One day at a time ...
I will remember that my fellow OA members are my equals, that I can let go of judgment, and that the freedom that comes with this helps me concentrate on recovery.

~ Isabella

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There are very few situations in life where everyone feels equal.  Anonymity allows us all the wonderful feeling that we are all in the same boat, and being treated not for our position or social standing, but as human beings who are all striving to reach the same goals: inner peace, serenity, and freedom from obsession.

Yet, I have seen judgment prevail at OA meetings in spite of anonymity. If a member is thin, other members may want to know what SHE is doing in a meeting?  What qualifies a THIN person to even be there?  Of course, we are all in different stages of our program, and being thin does not mean the member was always thin.

When a person feels judged, they tend to back off and get back into isolation mode. I've been there myself, so I speak from experience.

OA is not comprised of a bunch of perfect people. In fact, it is mostly comprised of a bunch of sick people with lots of issues to work on.  And, hurt people hurt people.

For today, I pray to reserve judgment for others, and for others to reserve their judgment of me.  In God's economy, all human beings are created equal.