Recovery Meditations: March 7th

Perseverance

To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil on it.

Mother Teresa


As a child I can still remember being terribly stubborn, and would even have a temper tantrum if I didn't want to do something. As I grew up, the trait of stubbornness remained, and it would be hard to get me to budge if I had decided I didn't want to do something. After coming into the program, I realised that stubbornness is actually a character defect of mine, and whilst I am praying to be relieved of it in its negative form, I also know that that same character defect in its positive form has helped me tremendously in the program, especially seeing my journey has been one which has been characterised with many slips along the way. But one of the things that I've never stopped doing is coming back, and I know that it is this very character defect of stubbornness, turned into perseverance, that has made me keep working at the program, even when it would be easier to just give up. So I have kept coming to meetings, and working the steps and the tools even when I was struggling, because I know that it is only when I do that, I have a chance of recovery.

It has been said that this is a program of action, and so I repeat on a daily basis the actions that have brought recovery to thousands. Some days it is harder than others, especially when the willingness is not there, and on those days my old pattern of wanting to block out the feelings with food resurfaces. But I also know that when I use the tools and work the steps, I can deal with the feelings without resorting to food, because my Higher Power will help me to get through the daily struggles when I turn them over to Him. So what I need to do on a daily basis is to ask for help from my Higher Power with my unmanageable life, instead of turning to food, and even on days where I'm struggling, I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and persevering with working the program.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will persevere with working the program, so that I can recover from this disease of compulsive overeating and be restored to sanity on a daily basis.

~ Sharon ~

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Stubbornness,  normally thought of as a character defect, can translate into Perseverance which is a desirable character trait!

When I am willing to do a 4th step inventory & look at myself in the light of truth, I realize that not ALL of my 'defects' are quite so defective! Sure, I DO have lots of real flaws that need work, but some of these flaws can work to my advantage when recognized.

The flaws that need to go away permanently, I can ask God to remove for me, if I am truly willing to BE rid of them.

What character defects would any sane person WANT to hold onto?  Let's take gossip for instance.  It can be fun to gossip at work..........to talk about others and to spread the 'news' around.  Am I truly wanting to have God remove that defect from me? Am I willing to stop engaging in that kind of behavior around the office?

I must WANT to behave differently before I ask God to remove the flaws within me in a 5th Step.

I can't pray to God to help me stop overeating, either, if I don't truly WANT to stop.  If I do, I must use the tools of the program, work the steps, and do the footwork of sticking to my food plan of abstinence before God can do HIS job!

For today, I pray for the willingness to do the footwork required OF me.