Recovery Meditations: March 5th

~ IMPULSIVENESS ~

"It is especially important not to make major life changes
when you are guided by emotions. If you are emotionally excited
(either in the positive or negative), wait until you calm down before taking action."

Rabbi Zelig Pliskin


When I first entered into recovery this was one of my main character defects. Since my life was out of control and spiraling downward, I acted impulsively and rarely did any thinking before acting. I wouldn't even admit that my actions were impulsive. I would get so mad at people if they said I was impulsive.

Thanks to the steps I now have the tools that allow me to look at my actions in a new light - one of sanity and direction. Step One allowed me to admit that I was addicted to food and my life was unmanageable. Step Two allowed me to let others in to help with my problem. I was not in this alone. Step Three gave me a loving G-d to take care of growing me up and helping me with all my problems. Step Four brought things into perspective, Step Five brought healing from the shame of making those irreparable mistakes. Steps Six and Seven helped me look at what in me could be prayed about and improved. They taught me that this character defect was just a character asset being used improperly. Steps Eight and Nine brought me back into a right relationship with others. Step Ten keeps me focused in the now not the "what if's" or "you need to's" of the past. Sanity seemed to be coming from that awareness of living in today. Step Eleven gave me the gift of a G-d that is ever caring and always present to help me if I just do my side of the work. As a result I have a spirit of love today rather than a spirit of resentment and self-pity. Step Twelve might be the most important one because it is what keeps me in recovery and living a productive life.

Today I do not have to react immediately to every thing that happens, I can even go to my sponsor and ask for guidance. If my sponsor doesn't have experience in that area I have a world full of people like me to go to who understand what I am experiencing. The tools give me a way to handle life on life's terms.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will chose to live and recover in the 12 steps.

~ Judith ~

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Reacting immediately to everything  was a real problem for me, and led me to the refrigerator time & time again. I'd like to say that I 'never' react improperly or immediately to anything or anyone, ever, but I am a work in progress! When something happens that causes me to WANT to react immediately, I run off to pray on the matter rather than to have a melt-down on the spot.

Working the 12 Steps has helped me tremendously in this area. I love how Judith says that steps 6 & 7 taught her that character defects were character assets being used improperly!

The steps have helped me see that so much of my behavior is what led me to compulsively overeat......not my love of food, or my gluttony, or my lack of 'willpower.' 

When I work the steps faithfully, I am given a set of instructions on how to change the behaviors that lead me to unhappiness and discord.  In other words, to the refrigerator. 

When I work the steps to the best of my ability, I put in place a formula designed to help me love mySELF.  When I feel good about ME, I don't want to put garbage into the body that God created.  I want to treat myself with loving kindness instead, and that includes the types & amounts of food I consume.

For today, I am grateful to have a solid plan to follow that shows me a way to get OUT of the messes I get myself INTO!