Food For Thought: March 26th

Cobwebs and Illusions

We compulsive overeaters react to refined sugar and starches as an alcoholic reacts to alcohol. When we were overeating, our thinking was foggy. The more we ate, the more confused we became. We often lived in a world of cobwebs and illusions and were unable to separate fact from fantasy.

This cloudy thinking caused all sorts of complications in our relationships with others and lowered our general level of efficiency. We found ourselves becoming very angry and irrational when events did not go our way. We often made life miserable for our families, taking out our anger on them. Sometimes we escaped into a world of fantasy where we would be omnipotent and where our every whim would be indulged.

When we came to OA and began to practice rigorous honesty, we discovered that in order to be honest we had to abstain from the kind of eating which confused our thinking. It is amazing how abstinence can clear away cobwebs and illusions!

Thank You, Lord, for sanity. 

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In my case, eating sugar & refined carbohydrates has the same outcome as drinking a cocktail; my thinking gets foggy and I feel drunk, tired, and moody.  And.........once I start eating these types of foods, I literally can't stop, which is exactly the same situation with booze.

Since food is socially acceptable, overeating or indulging in sweets is encouraged.  For someone like me, having a slice of cake 'just this once' is just as dangerous as having a cocktail 'just this once.'  "Once" turns into a downhill spiral.  I get back on a rollercoaster ride, not certain WHEN and IF I can get off of it again!

What a huge risk to take! If I go to work today & start eating trigger foods, I may not wake up from my food coma for a long time.  Then what?  Then I've ditched abstinence, given up my serenity & peace of mind, and gained weight.  Then I have to force myself back to my food plan, which may or may not happen, and the cycle kicks in yet AGAIN.

When I'm 'using' I'm angry & intolerant.  Everybody in my life suffers because of MY selfishness in allowing the addiction to take hold. I'm back to being a victim, feeling self-pity and physically, I am dragging, with no energy, enthusiasm or zest for life. 

I may be an addict, but I don't have to act like one!

For today, I repeat the 5th step prayer:

God, I offer myself to Thee
To build with me
And to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness
To those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life.
May I do Thy will always.

For today, I commit my food plan to God, and choose to live in a selfless manner.