For Today: May 7th

Better deny at once than promise long.

Danish proverb

“Well, maybe.” “Perhaps.” Is that what I say because I can’t say No? Or worse yet, “We’ll see.” That takes the prize for keeping someone dangling and coming back to find out whether it’s Yes, No, or another We’ll see.

Fear is at the root of my inability to refuse. Someone may get angry or be so displeased as to write me off, no longer have anything to do with me. But I cannot be responsible for the way people react to the choices I make. That is their problem, and I no longer think I can solve other people’s problems. All I can do today is to try to carry out God’s will for me as I see it. If I’m wrong, I will stand corrected and make my amends. I believe that, too, is God’s will.

For Today: God grant me the courage to be honest; to say No if that is what I mean.

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Every morning when I read & type out these For Today messages, it strikes me how there is rarely a mention of food. Are we not compulsive overeaters? Do we not eat too much? Why on earth does OA neglect to mention food matters?

Because obesity & compulsive overeating is a disease of the soul, not of the body.

My journey is not about what I am eating, it is about what is eating ME. And that boils down to spiritual impoverishment. Relying on myself to control everything & everybody; relying on myself to rule the world. Living in a tiny sphere of selfishness where nothing else matters except ME. A place of survival where my Ego is in charge & does not stand for change! Nope, uh-uh. 

When I put aside my Ego & humble myself to God & to the fact of my disease, that is when I begin to heal.

People-pleasing was a very large part of my personality for a long time. I couldn't utter the word No because I was afraid of being written off by someone. I said Yes when what I wanted to say was No. I'd go out of my way to please someone at my own expense, and then feel entitled to overeat because of it.  I put aside my own good judgment to make someone else like me.

My mother would constantly tell me, "We'll see" and I so hated those two little words. I rarely use that statement unless I have to chew over making an important decision, otherwise, I say Yes or No right away. Leaving someone dangling waiting for an answer is not a good thing.

For today, I pray for the courage to say what I mean and to mean what I say. When God is directing my life, I can trust in making the right decision & not feel the need to waiver back & forth, second-guessing myself all the time.