For Today: May 22nd

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.

Leonardo da Vinci

That old cliché, “Everyone has a right to his opinion,” is true enough. However, that does not make everyone’s opinion of equal value. On the subject of abstinence, for instance: how do I see it? OA is based on the same principles as AA. Is braking my abstinence the same for me as taking a drink is for the alcoholic? Yes. Yet, a compulsive overeater does not have the same immediate consequences: it does not alter my mind in the same way alcohol does and with the same rapidity. You can’t smell it on my breath. So, I may think I can get away with it. But compulsive overeating shows in my thinking. I am less aware, more ready to deceive myself.

For Today: I accept myself as I am, but I will not spare myself the hard questions: Do I have a desire to stop eating compulsively? Have I stopped?

Until I accepted Abstinence as a necessity in my life, I was doomed to fiddle around eating off plan.  When I think I can ‘get away’ with indiscretions is when I again delude myself that this disease isn’t all that serious.  If I break Abstinence, my thinking gets skewed & I fall back into the trap of thinking it’s no ‘big deal’ to have occasional indulgences.

The big deal is very big indeed.

While the scent of chocolate may not be detected on my breath, the effects of sugar are detected in my mind & my body.

One bite is too many & a million aren’t enough.

Such is the nature of compulsive overeating.

Until I absorbed that mentality, I stayed tied to my disease which prevented me from living a happy, joyous & free lifestyle.

Until I gave my addiction over to my Higher Power, I was a slave to food & thought I needed to overeat to survive.

What I really need to survive is humility, spirituality & acceptance. Anything less is a half-measure, and in OA circles, we know that half-measures avail us nothing.

Abstinence cannot be bargained. Abstinence means I put the Food Plan in charge & stick to it like glue. Otherwise, history repeats itself & I go back to my compulsive overeating ways where the disease is in charge, not my Higher Power.

For today, I pray to remember that Abstinence is the most important thing in my life.