Recovery Meditations: March 5th
~
IMPULSIVENESS ~
"It
is especially important not to make major life changes
when
you are guided by emotions. If you are emotionally excited
(either
in the positive or negative), wait until you calm down before taking
action."
Rabbi
Zelig Pliskin
When I
first entered into recovery this was one of my main character defects. Since my
life was out of control and spiraling downward, I acted impulsively and rarely
did any thinking before acting. I wouldn't even admit that my actions were
impulsive. I would get so mad at people if they said I was impulsive.
Thanks
to the steps I now have the tools that allow me to look at my actions in a new
light - one of sanity and direction. Step One allowed me to admit that I was
addicted to food and my life was unmanageable. Step Two allowed me to let
others in to help with my problem. I was not in this alone. Step Three gave me
a loving G-d to take care of growing me up and helping me with all my problems.
Step Four brought things into perspective, Step Five brought healing from the shame
of making those irreparable mistakes. Steps Six and Seven helped me look at
what in me could be prayed about and improved. They taught me that this
character defect was just a character asset being used improperly. Steps Eight
and Nine brought me back into a right relationship with others. Step Ten keeps
me focused in the now not the "what if's" or "you need
to's" of the past. Sanity seemed to be coming from that awareness of
living in today. Step Eleven gave me the gift of a G-d that is ever caring and always
present to help me if I just do my side of the work. As a result I have a
spirit of love today rather than a spirit of resentment and self-pity. Step
Twelve might be the most important one because it is what keeps me in recovery
and living a productive life.
Today I
do not have to react immediately to every thing that happens, I can even go to
my sponsor and ask for guidance. If my sponsor doesn't have experience in that
area I have a world full of people like me to go to who understand what I am experiencing.
The tools give me a way to handle life on life's terms.
One Day
at a Time . . .
I will
chose to live and recover in the 12 steps.
~
Judith ~
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Each Day a New Beginning
Loving, like prayer, is a power as well as a process. It's curative. It is creative.
—Zona Gale
The expression of love softens us and the ones we love. It opens a channel between us. It invites an intimate response that closes the distance.
It feels good to express love, whether through a smile, a touch, or a prayer. It heightens our sense of being alive. Acknowledging another's presence means that we, too, are acknowledged. Each of us is familiar with feeling forgotten, unnoticed, or taken for granted, and recognition assures us all that we haven't been overlooked.
Knowing we are loved may be the key to our doing the things we fear. Love supports us to charge ahead, and we can support others to charge ahead. We know that if we fail, we have someone to turn to.
Love heals. It strengthens, making us courageous both when we receive it and when we give it. Knowing we are loved makes our existence special. It affirms that we count in another's life. We need to honor our friends by assuring them of their specialness, too.
I need others. I need to strengthen my supports, my connections to others for the security, even success, of each of us. I can express my love today, and assure my loved ones that they are needed. Then, they and I will surge ahead with new life.
—Zona Gale
The expression of love softens us and the ones we love. It opens a channel between us. It invites an intimate response that closes the distance.
It feels good to express love, whether through a smile, a touch, or a prayer. It heightens our sense of being alive. Acknowledging another's presence means that we, too, are acknowledged. Each of us is familiar with feeling forgotten, unnoticed, or taken for granted, and recognition assures us all that we haven't been overlooked.
Knowing we are loved may be the key to our doing the things we fear. Love supports us to charge ahead, and we can support others to charge ahead. We know that if we fail, we have someone to turn to.
Love heals. It strengthens, making us courageous both when we receive it and when we give it. Knowing we are loved makes our existence special. It affirms that we count in another's life. We need to honor our friends by assuring them of their specialness, too.
I need others. I need to strengthen my supports, my connections to others for the security, even success, of each of us. I can express my love today, and assure my loved ones that they are needed. Then, they and I will surge ahead with new life.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Old Tapes
In the recesses of our minds, each of us has old tapes stored away which tend to be played over and over again. These tapes may have been recorded so long ago that they have little if anything to do with our present situation.
The tapes, which are recordings of positive thoughts and experiences, can be helpful when replayed. Unfortunately, we each possess many tapes which are negative and self-destructive. They include resentments, fears, and hates. When one of these negative tapes begins to play, we may find ourselves opening the refrigerator or going out to buy food which we should not have. Often the tapes continue to play while we are eating.
Taking an inventory each day makes us increasingly aware of our negative emotions: anger, envy, irrational anxiety. Admitting mistakes and making amends relieves us of the guilt associated with our character defects.
By giving our lives to God and staying in contact with Him, we are able to turn off the negative tapes. We receive new thoughts and positive feelings: hope, faith, love.
I pray that my thoughts and feelings may be purified.
In the recesses of our minds, each of us has old tapes stored away which tend to be played over and over again. These tapes may have been recorded so long ago that they have little if anything to do with our present situation.
The tapes, which are recordings of positive thoughts and experiences, can be helpful when replayed. Unfortunately, we each possess many tapes which are negative and self-destructive. They include resentments, fears, and hates. When one of these negative tapes begins to play, we may find ourselves opening the refrigerator or going out to buy food which we should not have. Often the tapes continue to play while we are eating.
Taking an inventory each day makes us increasingly aware of our negative emotions: anger, envy, irrational anxiety. Admitting mistakes and making amends relieves us of the guilt associated with our character defects.
By giving our lives to God and staying in contact with Him, we are able to turn off the negative tapes. We receive new thoughts and positive feelings: hope, faith, love.
I pray that my thoughts and feelings may be purified.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Be Who You Are
When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I can't have my feelings. Can't have my wants and needs. Can't have my history. Can't do the things I want, feel the feelings I'm feeling, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed, perfectionistic robot, instead of being who I am: Me.
—Anonymous
Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself.
Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anyone else.
The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.
We may think others won't like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think.
But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. We're fun to be around.
If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control our behavior and us?
Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and it's enough. It's fine.
Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need.
Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself.
—Anonymous
Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself.
Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anyone else.
The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.
We may think others won't like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think.
But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. We're fun to be around.
If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control our behavior and us?
Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and it's enough. It's fine.
Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need.
Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
I was talking to a friend about something I didn't want to do but believed I needed to do anyway. I was dreading it and feeling irritable. Often when we talk like that, other people scowl and say, "Oh, don't let shoulds control your life. If you don't want to do it, don't."
But this man understood. "At the risk of sounding old-fashioned," he said, "duty calls."
What's there to say about duty? It's a job, for different reasons, that needs to be done - whether we really want to or feel like it.
I learned about duty when my children, Nichole and Shane, were born. A lot of things needed to be done to take good care of them, whether I felt like doing all of those things or not.
I learned throughout the years that even the most exciting jobs have uninteresting and sometimes distasteful duties. When I worked for a daily newspaper, I loved my job. I enjoyed covering front-page news. But many of the stories I was assigned to were duty stories.
Sometimes a relative needs help. A parent may get sick, grow old, or become vulnerable or infirm. While we don't want to become duty-bound and strap our entire lives with shoulds, there are times in any relationship - family, romantic, or friend - when a code of honor rules and we do what we must.
"I believe we have deeper duties too," a friend said. "If we've been given sobriety, spiritual growth, or gifts, I believe that it's our duty to pass those gifts along and share them when we're asked."
Go ahead. Say arrrgh. Dread what you're about to do. I know, there are more interesting and exciting things calling your name. But for a moment, can you put those things aside?
I was talking to a friend about something I didn't want to do but believed I needed to do anyway. I was dreading it and feeling irritable. Often when we talk like that, other people scowl and say, "Oh, don't let shoulds control your life. If you don't want to do it, don't."
But this man understood. "At the risk of sounding old-fashioned," he said, "duty calls."
What's there to say about duty? It's a job, for different reasons, that needs to be done - whether we really want to or feel like it.
I learned about duty when my children, Nichole and Shane, were born. A lot of things needed to be done to take good care of them, whether I felt like doing all of those things or not.
I learned throughout the years that even the most exciting jobs have uninteresting and sometimes distasteful duties. When I worked for a daily newspaper, I loved my job. I enjoyed covering front-page news. But many of the stories I was assigned to were duty stories.
Sometimes a relative needs help. A parent may get sick, grow old, or become vulnerable or infirm. While we don't want to become duty-bound and strap our entire lives with shoulds, there are times in any relationship - family, romantic, or friend - when a code of honor rules and we do what we must.
"I believe we have deeper duties too," a friend said. "If we've been given sobriety, spiritual growth, or gifts, I believe that it's our duty to pass those gifts along and share them when we're asked."
Go ahead. Say arrrgh. Dread what you're about to do. I know, there are more interesting and exciting things calling your name. But for a moment, can you put those things aside?
You are reading from the book:
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