Recovery Meditations: January 12th
~ GUILT ~
Who I am is what I have to give.
Quite simply, I must remember that's
enough.
Anne Wilson Schaef
For most of my growing up years, I was
fed on guilt, or so it seemed. I always felt that in order to justify being
worthy of what others did for me, I had to be the best at whatever I did. I
would feel guilty for not meeting others' expectations. My self-esteem was
virtually non-existent. I was always there for other people rather than being
there for myself. It was no wonder I turned to food to help me cope.
Now, I'm grateful that it took the pain
of all those years of compulsive overeating to bring me into this wonderful
fellowship of people who accept me just as I am. I don't need to do anything to
justify myself. Through working the steps, I have been able to let go of a lot
of guilt and I see that, even with all my character defects, I'm still a very
special and unique human being. My self-esteem has improved, and I learned that
I need to take care of myself if I'm to be of help to others.
I still struggle with those defects
from time to time, but with the support I find in this fellowship, I am
becoming comfortable with who I am, and I can let go of the guilt. What a
relief that has been!
I don't need to be just the person who
is always there for others; I need to be there for myself. I am learning that I
am a worthwhile person and that I'm just the way God wants me to be.
One Day at a Time . . .
I don't need to be just the person who
is always there for others;
I need to be there for myself.
I am learning that I am a worthwhile
person and that I'm just the way God wants me to be.
~ Sharon ~
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Each Day a New Beginning
It isn't sufficient to seek wholeness through men, it never was and it never will be for any woman, married or single.
—Patricia O'Brien
Most of us were encouraged from childhood on to "find a husband." The message, often subtle, was nonetheless there. And many of us did marry. However, no relationship carries a lifetime guarantee. Pinning our hopes on another person keeps us dependent; it keeps us in a "holding pattern." It keeps us from making those choices tailored to who we are and who we want to be.
Our recovery as women is closely aligned with our growth in decision-making, our choosing responsible behavior and activities, our personal achievement. We do, each of us, need to discover our own wholeness. We need to celebrate our personhood. We need to cheer one another on as women recovering from an addictive past, as worthwhile women in full measure.
I will respect my wholeness today. I will help another woman nurture hers.
—Patricia O'Brien
Most of us were encouraged from childhood on to "find a husband." The message, often subtle, was nonetheless there. And many of us did marry. However, no relationship carries a lifetime guarantee. Pinning our hopes on another person keeps us dependent; it keeps us in a "holding pattern." It keeps us from making those choices tailored to who we are and who we want to be.
Our recovery as women is closely aligned with our growth in decision-making, our choosing responsible behavior and activities, our personal achievement. We do, each of us, need to discover our own wholeness. We need to celebrate our personhood. We need to cheer one another on as women recovering from an addictive past, as worthwhile women in full measure.
I will respect my wholeness today. I will help another woman nurture hers.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Gratitude
I am grateful to have found OA. Without it, I would still be floundering in despair. I would still be alone, without understanding friends, without purpose, and without hope.
I am grateful to be abstaining just for today. I do not have to worry about tomorrow, because if I live well today, tomorrow will take care of itself.
I am grateful for a new life, for new strength growing out of old weakness.
When I am full of gratitude, there is no room left for anger, envy, fear, or hatred. Nor is there room for pride, since when I am grateful I am humbly aware of my dependence on my Higher Power. Being filled with gratitude is ever so much better than being filled with food!
May I gratefully abstain today and every day.
I am grateful to have found OA. Without it, I would still be floundering in despair. I would still be alone, without understanding friends, without purpose, and without hope.
I am grateful to be abstaining just for today. I do not have to worry about tomorrow, because if I live well today, tomorrow will take care of itself.
I am grateful for a new life, for new strength growing out of old weakness.
When I am full of gratitude, there is no room left for anger, envy, fear, or hatred. Nor is there room for pride, since when I am grateful I am humbly aware of my dependence on my Higher Power. Being filled with gratitude is ever so much better than being filled with food!
May I gratefully abstain today and every day.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
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The Language of Letting Go
Finding Balance
The goal of recovery is balance - that precious middle ground.
Many of us have gone from one extreme to another: years of taking care of everyone but ourselves, followed by a time of refusing to focus on anyone's needs but our own.
We may have spent years refusing to identify, feel, and deal with our feelings, followed by a period of absolute obsession with every trace of emotional energy that passes through our body.
We may succumb to powerlessness, helplessness, and victimization, then we swing to the other extreme by aggressively wielding power over those around us.
We can learn to give to others while taking responsibility for ourselves. We can learn to take care of our feelings, as well as our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. We can nurture the quiet confidence of owning our power as equals in our relationships with others.
The goal of recovery is balance, but sometimes we get there by going to extremes.
Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the peaks and valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down.
The goal of recovery is balance - that precious middle ground.
Many of us have gone from one extreme to another: years of taking care of everyone but ourselves, followed by a time of refusing to focus on anyone's needs but our own.
We may have spent years refusing to identify, feel, and deal with our feelings, followed by a period of absolute obsession with every trace of emotional energy that passes through our body.
We may succumb to powerlessness, helplessness, and victimization, then we swing to the other extreme by aggressively wielding power over those around us.
We can learn to give to others while taking responsibility for ourselves. We can learn to take care of our feelings, as well as our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. We can nurture the quiet confidence of owning our power as equals in our relationships with others.
The goal of recovery is balance, but sometimes we get there by going to extremes.
Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the peaks and valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won.
--Sister Imelda
How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is to turn our will and our behavior toward recovery, failing to recover is much harder. Ultimately, any price we pay for recovery is far less than the cost of giving up everything we've gained.
Some of us have a very difficult time making phone calls. Others are scared to death of speaking at meetings, talking to strangers, or admitting that we have feelings. But the alternative has simply been too painful. Whatever we have to do is worth it. The payoff is immense. How many of us, when we did attend that meeting that frightened us, felt an enormous surge of self-confidence and happiness? How often, when we have stood our ground and found it did not kill us, have we felt that we could lick the world? The payoff is that we learn to like ourselves more, and that is as good as it gets.
I will make sure today that I am not forgetting the benefits of recovery and only considering the price of recovery.
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