Recovery Meditations: October 4th
SHAME
”It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess,
but the ridiculous and the shameful.”
Jean Jacques Rousseau
I had a very strange childhood filled with lots of emotional and physical neglect. Combine that with moving about once a year and being deemed as "unacceptable" by each new community we moved into, and how could I help but feel a great sense of shame about everything about me?
As an adult I left home and became a well-respected part of a new community. I have lived in the same nice house, with a beautiful yard, and had well kept-children. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, internally I was still that "unacceptable" child. I had not told anyone about my childhood because I felt it to be a shameful secret. I thought that much of my adult unhappiness was deserved because I truly believed that even though no one knew the truth about me, deep down I really was still unacceptable.
Since coming to TRG, I have been releasing something far more important than the 60 pounds of weight I have lost. I have begun to release the shame, the sense of being unacceptable, and the sense of being unworthy and unlovable. I have shared my secrets with wonderfully-loving, accepting people. By sharing my secrets I am releasing my pain. My request that my name not be revealed at the end of this meditation, though, clearly states that I still have work to do. TRG, the program, and the steps are offering me the means to recovery and I will gratefully accept the offer!
One day at a time...
I will remember that the old false self-perceptions are no longer relevant in my life. I am learning new ways of self-acceptance and new ways of self-nurturing that will serve me far better.
~ Karen A.
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Each Day a New Beginning
If I love with my Spirit, I don't have to think so hard with my head.
—Peggy Cahn
Love smooths all ruffles. All situations are calmed all tension is eased. The expression of love is a balm on all wounds, particularly our own. Feeling love toward the people in our lives today will boost our spirits; our personal difficulties will lessen. We'll discover resolution. The answers we've been searching for become known to us when we concentrate less on our problems and more on the gift of love we can give to the travelers we encounter today.
The solutions to our problems are seldom found in our heads. They burst forth from our hearts. We suddenly seem to know what to do. Perhaps someone else's words or behavior will trigger the inspiration we've longed for. We can let our concern today be on the moment and the experience. We can let its power wash over us, and in the wake we'll find the answers we search for.
When we're brittle, cold to others, we close off whatever messages are being directed to us. Our love for others softens us; making it possible for the words and ideas we await to permeate us.
If I am in need today, if I have a problem that wants a solution, I will reach out to others with love. They'll hand me my answer in return.
—Peggy Cahn
Love smooths all ruffles. All situations are calmed all tension is eased. The expression of love is a balm on all wounds, particularly our own. Feeling love toward the people in our lives today will boost our spirits; our personal difficulties will lessen. We'll discover resolution. The answers we've been searching for become known to us when we concentrate less on our problems and more on the gift of love we can give to the travelers we encounter today.
The solutions to our problems are seldom found in our heads. They burst forth from our hearts. We suddenly seem to know what to do. Perhaps someone else's words or behavior will trigger the inspiration we've longed for. We can let our concern today be on the moment and the experience. We can let its power wash over us, and in the wake we'll find the answers we search for.
When we're brittle, cold to others, we close off whatever messages are being directed to us. Our love for others softens us; making it possible for the words and ideas we await to permeate us.
If I am in need today, if I have a problem that wants a solution, I will reach out to others with love. They'll hand me my answer in return.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Friendship
Through this program, we learn that we have choices. Not only can we choose what we will eat and what we will do, but also we can choose our friends. As we become honest, unaddicted people, we are able to relate to each other on a level of mutuality and admiration rather than out of dependency and fear. We gain the self-confidence to choose those with whom we enjoy spending time and sharing, rather than slavishly catering to anyone who will notice us.
Friends in OA have a special bond, since we share a common problem and a common solution. By putting principles before personalities, we avoid dependency and childish demands. Though we love and support each other, we do not cling together, since we are each dependent on a Higher Power. Our friends give us the gift of themselves, which shows us who we are.
Thank You for friendship.
Through this program, we learn that we have choices. Not only can we choose what we will eat and what we will do, but also we can choose our friends. As we become honest, unaddicted people, we are able to relate to each other on a level of mutuality and admiration rather than out of dependency and fear. We gain the self-confidence to choose those with whom we enjoy spending time and sharing, rather than slavishly catering to anyone who will notice us.
Friends in OA have a special bond, since we share a common problem and a common solution. By putting principles before personalities, we avoid dependency and childish demands. Though we love and support each other, we do not cling together, since we are each dependent on a Higher Power. Our friends give us the gift of themselves, which shows us who we are.
Thank You for friendship.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Faith and Money
Sometimes, there is not enough money to make ends meet, much less afford any luxuries.
People may tell us to do a budget, and we chuckle. The expenses we need to pay for survival surpass the income.
We look at the situation; shake our heads, and say, "No way."
Many of us have had to live through these situations. This is not the time to panic; this is not the time to despair.
Panic and desperation will lead to bad judgment and desperate moves. This is the time to substitute faith for fear. This is the time to trust God to meet our needs.
Take life one day and one need at a time. Use your survival skills positively. Know your possibilities are not limited by the past or by your present circumstances.
Examine any blocks that might be stopping the flow of money in your life. Do you have an attitude, an issue, a lesson that might be yours to change or learn?
Maybe the lesson is a simple one of faith. In Biblical times, it is said that Jesus walked on the water. It is said His followers could, too, but the moment they let fear take over, they sank.
During financial hard times, we can learn to "walk on water" with money issues. If we make out a budget, and there's not enough money to survive and pay legitimate expenses, do your best, then let go. Trust your Source to supply your needs. If an emergency arises, and there is no cash to meet the need, look beyond your wallet. Look to your Source. Claim a Divine supply, an unlimited supply, for all that you need.
Do your part. Strive for an attitude of financial responsibility in thought and action. Ask for Divine Wisdom. Listen to God's leadings. Then let go of your fears and your need to control.
We know that money is a necessary part of being alive and living; so does our Higher Power.
God, bring any blocks and barriers within me concerning money to the surface. Help me take care of myself financially. If money is tight, I will dispel fear and learn to "walk on water" concerning finance issues. I will not use this attitude to justify irresponsibility. I will do my part, including letting go of fear and trusting you to do the rest.
Sometimes, there is not enough money to make ends meet, much less afford any luxuries.
People may tell us to do a budget, and we chuckle. The expenses we need to pay for survival surpass the income.
We look at the situation; shake our heads, and say, "No way."
Many of us have had to live through these situations. This is not the time to panic; this is not the time to despair.
Panic and desperation will lead to bad judgment and desperate moves. This is the time to substitute faith for fear. This is the time to trust God to meet our needs.
Take life one day and one need at a time. Use your survival skills positively. Know your possibilities are not limited by the past or by your present circumstances.
Examine any blocks that might be stopping the flow of money in your life. Do you have an attitude, an issue, a lesson that might be yours to change or learn?
Maybe the lesson is a simple one of faith. In Biblical times, it is said that Jesus walked on the water. It is said His followers could, too, but the moment they let fear take over, they sank.
During financial hard times, we can learn to "walk on water" with money issues. If we make out a budget, and there's not enough money to survive and pay legitimate expenses, do your best, then let go. Trust your Source to supply your needs. If an emergency arises, and there is no cash to meet the need, look beyond your wallet. Look to your Source. Claim a Divine supply, an unlimited supply, for all that you need.
Do your part. Strive for an attitude of financial responsibility in thought and action. Ask for Divine Wisdom. Listen to God's leadings. Then let go of your fears and your need to control.
We know that money is a necessary part of being alive and living; so does our Higher Power.
God, bring any blocks and barriers within me concerning money to the surface. Help me take care of myself financially. If money is tight, I will dispel fear and learn to "walk on water" concerning finance issues. I will not use this attitude to justify irresponsibility. I will do my part, including letting go of fear and trusting you to do the rest.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed.
--Sebastien R. N. Chamfort
When we first started going to Twelve Step meetings we were often stunned to hear so much laughter. But we soon learned that a good hearty laugh or a joyful smile is as important to our recovery as all the serious issues we explore.
Learning to laugh is part of our growth. It recognizes our shared experiences and helps us feel closer to one another. It also reminds us we are able to smile again, and that a better perspective on life is returning.
We only have today to live, and we are getting better today, so why not smile and enjoy it? Why not open ourselves up to a good laugh and let it push our pain or sorrow out? Now that we are once again choosing how we feel, we have the power to opt for joy.
Today I am grateful for my ability to laugh and share laughter and fun.
You are reading from the book:
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