Recovery Meditations: October 20th
Limitations
“You cannot help men permanently
by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.”
Abraham Lincoln
I love the idea of helping people. Seeing the other person shine after my input gives me a great feeling. The flipside of this peak experience is the sadness and bleakness I feel when the person I am helping does not succeed. When it is all about me, I have to accept responsibility for everything: the good and the bad.
Thank You, God, that it is not really me who is the source of all help, it is You. I can point the way and make suggestions, but I cannot make someone change for the better. What causes people to change is something for which no person can take credit. It is simply divine!
The real question is whether or not the person I want to help will turn to his or her Higher Power and use the help that is offered. I cannot actually take these steps for others. I can pretend to do that, and perhaps offer some temporary relief, but lasting recovery will come only to those who make a quality decision to take the necessary steps on their own.
One day at a time...
I will realize the limitations of my help. I will not try to do for others what only they can and should do for themselves.
~ Q
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Each Day a New Beginning
...You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.
—Joan Baez
How thrilling to contemplate that we can choose every attitude we have and every action we take. We have been gifted with full responsibility for our development. What will we try today? It's our personal choice. How will we decide on a particular issue? Our options are only limited by our vision.
Every situation in life offers us a significant opportunity for making a decision that will, of necessity, influence the remaining situations we encounter. Just as we are interdependent, needing and influencing one another in all instances that bring us together, likewise our decisions are never inviolate. Each is singly important; however, its impact is multiplied by the variety of other decisions triggered.
The choice is ours for livings fully today, for taking advantage of all the opportunities that present themselves. Our personal growths, our emotional and spiritual development, are in our hands. God will provide us with the guidance, and the program offers us the tools. The decision to act is ours, alone.
I will exercise my personal power. My choices determine my development.
—Joan Baez
How thrilling to contemplate that we can choose every attitude we have and every action we take. We have been gifted with full responsibility for our development. What will we try today? It's our personal choice. How will we decide on a particular issue? Our options are only limited by our vision.
Every situation in life offers us a significant opportunity for making a decision that will, of necessity, influence the remaining situations we encounter. Just as we are interdependent, needing and influencing one another in all instances that bring us together, likewise our decisions are never inviolate. Each is singly important; however, its impact is multiplied by the variety of other decisions triggered.
The choice is ours for livings fully today, for taking advantage of all the opportunities that present themselves. Our personal growths, our emotional and spiritual development, are in our hands. God will provide us with the guidance, and the program offers us the tools. The decision to act is ours, alone.
I will exercise my personal power. My choices determine my development.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Physical Restraint
Self-control is hard work. When the urge comes to do something, which we know is not in our best interest, we physically restrain ourselves from performing the destructive action. This often requires hard, physical effort.
We may want to eat when we should not be eating, we may want to lash out in anger, we may want to retreat from a difficult task, we may want to continue a harmful relationship. Whatever the urge, if we know deep down that it is contrary to God's will for us, we need to control it and not act on it.
Time spent with our Higher Power each day builds the strength and integrity, which can control our destructive urges. Alone, we are powerless, but with the OA program supporting us we find strength we never had before. With abstinence comes the clarity of mind necessary to evaluate our urges and desires.
May I have the moral strength to physically restrain myself when necessary.
Self-control is hard work. When the urge comes to do something, which we know is not in our best interest, we physically restrain ourselves from performing the destructive action. This often requires hard, physical effort.
We may want to eat when we should not be eating, we may want to lash out in anger, we may want to retreat from a difficult task, we may want to continue a harmful relationship. Whatever the urge, if we know deep down that it is contrary to God's will for us, we need to control it and not act on it.
Time spent with our Higher Power each day builds the strength and integrity, which can control our destructive urges. Alone, we are powerless, but with the OA program supporting us we find strength we never had before. With abstinence comes the clarity of mind necessary to evaluate our urges and desires.
May I have the moral strength to physically restrain myself when necessary.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Detaching with Love
Sometimes people we love do things we don't like or approve of. We react. They react. Before long, we're all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates.
When do we detach? When we're hooked into a reaction of anger, fear, guilt, or shame. When we get hooked into a power play - an attempt to control or force others to do something they don't want to do. When the way we're reacting isn't helping the other person or solving the problem. When the way we're reacting is hurting us.
Often, it's time to detach when detachment appears to be the least likely, or possible, thing to do.
The first step toward detachment is understanding that reacting and controlling don't help. The next step is getting peaceful - getting centered and restoring our balance.
Take a walk. Leave the room. Go to a meeting. Take a long, hot bath. Call a friend. Call on God. Breathe deeply. Find peace. From that place of peace and centering will emerge an answer, a solution.
Today, I will surrender and trust that the answer is near.
Sometimes people we love do things we don't like or approve of. We react. They react. Before long, we're all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates.
When do we detach? When we're hooked into a reaction of anger, fear, guilt, or shame. When we get hooked into a power play - an attempt to control or force others to do something they don't want to do. When the way we're reacting isn't helping the other person or solving the problem. When the way we're reacting is hurting us.
Often, it's time to detach when detachment appears to be the least likely, or possible, thing to do.
The first step toward detachment is understanding that reacting and controlling don't help. The next step is getting peaceful - getting centered and restoring our balance.
Take a walk. Leave the room. Go to a meeting. Take a long, hot bath. Call a friend. Call on God. Breathe deeply. Find peace. From that place of peace and centering will emerge an answer, a solution.
Today, I will surrender and trust that the answer is near.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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I feel good about myself since I started taking care of my body. It's the home that goes with me each day of my life.
--Bill L. - Age 17
When we were using, we often neglected our bodies and personal hygiene. We may have also stopped getting regular medical and dental care. It seemed that the ups and downs of a user's life left us with little energy for personal care.
Today we are surprised at how much joy we get out of smelling good and dressing with care. Many of us are developing our own personal style.
At first, we might need to force ourselves to call for regular checkups, but the feeling of wellness we get from being responsible for our bodies outweighs our old fears.
Today let me love myself enough to care about my physical health and appearance.
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