Spontaneity
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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" .......be good; be right; be
perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control." I wonder exactly when I adopted this mentality?????? Putting up a front that I needed to be this perfectly perfect creature who was always right, always strong, and always in control. Knowing, deep down inside, that I WASN'T this perfect person led me to overeat & drink myself into a stupor. If I want recovery, I must look inward & admit the truth.
Before recovery, I saw myself as the center of my world and devoted my energies to protecting and building up my fragile ego. I was all
alone in an unfriendly world. Now, I see myself as God's creation,
subject to His purpose and plan. As I yield to His authority and accept
His love, I find strength, security, and peace. By losing myself, I find myself.
I have the ability & desire to be childlike once again; to let go of the 'rules' and to have FUN! I can live and laugh and find joy in the freedom of being spontaneous! So what if I'm wrong? So what if I make a mistake? I no longer have to be a perfect person, and there is great freedom in that statement.
For today, I will be a little needy & vulnerable, without worrying about how others perceive me. Today I will be all that God has intended me TO be!
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