AGING
“We turn, not older with years,
but newer every day.”
Emily Dickinson
Until I found Program, I used to think that being young was good and that being old was undignified. But working the 12 Steps helped me find the natural wisdom that comes from living over time without practicing addiction.
Now that I’m middle-aged, I feel a power, wisdom and dignity I've never felt before. Youth was good. This is good, too. For me, in fact, it’s better. I know myself at last. I have so many more resources inside me. I am grateful to be in my middle years.
As I get older, I seem to be getting more innocent. I no longer need to fit in, please others, or do things just because everyone else is doing them.
Somehow this has cleared my vision and it is easier for me to see and appreciate things the way they really are.
In the end, it is easier every day to see myself for who I really am and to accept and love myself.
One day at a time...
I am willing to be innocent and new; to go wherever my Higher Power leads me next.
~ Juno V.
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Age brought with it the ability to feel comfortable in my own skin; acceptance of who I Am, and recognition of how far I've come in the past 55 years. Youth was a difficult time, when I struggled & fought to find myself, but never quite DID. I looked to others to fulfill me & to define who I was, and was left wondering & questioning. I didn't realize that I was searching in the wrong place........that who I Am emanates from within ME. Seeking validation & purpose from outside sources prevents me from knowing myself at a spiritual level.
I viewed myself as a Body instead of a Soul. I could never lose weight & keep it off because I was never satisfied with my appearance, no matter WHAT. I always could have been thinner, prettier, funnier, smarter. So losing weight changed my appearance, but it was never enough. I'd get thin and find myself asking, "Now what?" Nothing much changed except for how I looked, which still left me feeling empty inside. As I grew older, I finally realized that I was unhappy & unconnected with who I Am at the core, and THAT prevented me from loving myself.
It's taken 50+ years to arrive at a point where I do love myself & know who I truly Am. I am willing to continue to grow, and to leave my life in God's hands, and to go wherever He leads me next.
For today, I see myself for who I really Am. I accept & love myself as a child of God and loving human being. For that I am grateful.
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