Self-approval
Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others.
Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapprove of our actions. We may look for approval from people who have none to give. We may not know that we're lovable now and can learn to approve of ourselves.
In order to live happily, to live consistently with the way our Higher Power wants us to live, and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe, we need to let go of our extreme need for approval. These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control over us today. These needs can prevent us from acting in our best interest and being true to ourselves.
We can approve of ourselves. In the end, that's the only approval that counts.
Today, I will let go of my need for approval and my need to be liked. I will replace them with a need to like and approve of myself. I will enjoy the surprise I find when I do this. The people who count, including myself, will respect me when I am true to myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Out of all the daily OA based readings, The Language of Letting Go has been speaking volumes to me lately, which is why I've been choosing them for this blog.
As an overweight person, I've always felt inferior as a human being. I felt I had to win the approval of others, by going out of my way to get them to like me, to make up for my shameful body size. I've spent the past 55 years, in fact, trying to win approval from my folks............and several years ago, I came to the conclusion that it would never happen. I will always be 'not quite enough' in their eyes. I jumped through fiery hoops over & over & over again, to no avail, in an attempt to win approval from people who have none to give.
I am lovable as I am, which makes me perfectly good enough! I approve of myself, and that's what really counts. Working the steps for years has taught me to live with high integrity & character; to stop making bad decisions and then dwelling in guilt because of it. When I put my program first, I am living to the best of my ability & therefore, have nothing to 'disapprove' of in myself.
Sure, I'd like everyone on earth to love me & think highly of me, who wouldn't? But it's no longer my goal to worry about who's going to leave me if I'm not all they would like me to be! I am me. I am a child of God, and I approve of myself and God approves of me also!
For today, I will let go of my need for approval & my need to be liked. For today, I will respect myself because I am living a clean, sober and useful life.
For today, I Am Good Enough. And boy does it feel good to SAY that & to BELIEVE it!
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