SLOW SUICIDE
“He who does not use his endeavors to heal himself
is brother to him who commits suicide.”
Solomon
Rather than a regular, sudden suicide, I have subtly entertained the idea of slow suicide. I have neglected myself: my health, my vision and my gifts. I have either taken actions that have harmed me, or I have neglected to take actions that would have helped me to live a longer and more productive life. I have stuffed my face with garbage, accepting that as my fate.
Today I have a program that teaches me that I can’t take care of myself alone and that I can, and will, receive help. I accept that help with humility, taking the Steps I am shown and using the tools I am offered. I begin to see that I have something to offer others and my life takes on new meaning and purpose.
One day at a time...
I pray that I will say “yes” to my own life today, and take actions which represent that “yes.”
~ Q
**************************************************************
This reading today reminds me of the old AA slogan: "I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took twelve steps to get to heaven."
When we were overeating, we felt empty inside no matter how much we ate. Now that we are abstaining, we may still experience periods of feeling empty. This emptiness is especially likely to occur after an occasion to which we have looked forward with much anticipation.
Perhaps we expect too much from a person or an event and feel let down when reality falls short of our anticipation. Perhaps we find ourselves with a group of people whose conversation is superficial and relationships are phony. Putting on a mask and keeping it in place for any length of time leaves us feeling drained and empty.
Without honest, meaningful contact with other people, we are emotionally undernourished. In order to have the mutually nurturing relationships we need, our false fronts have to be abandoned. Through this program, we learn to seek out the kinds of people and activities that fill us and to avoid those that leave us empty .
~Food for Thought
When I feel like breaking abstinence, I remember that no matter HOW much I eat, I will NOT be able to fill that emptiness inside. My binge will be huge, and I will still go back for more. When I am emotionally undernourished is when I need to have conscious contact with God again; go within to find what's lacking, instead of stuffing my body with empty calories. That's what the program has taught me, and it was a lesson well worth learning.
For today, I will be myself...........I don't need a phony smile and a mask to hide the real me behind. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, that's ok. I will not emotionally drain MYself in an effort to please somebody else! I will not risky MY program for anyone or anything, not for today.
For today, I will not commit slow suicide by stuffing my body or damaging my health.
For today, I will be ME and that IS good enough!
When we were overeating, we felt empty inside no matter how much we ate. Now that we are abstaining, we may still experience periods of feeling empty. This emptiness is especially likely to occur after an occasion to which we have looked forward with much anticipation.
Perhaps we expect too much from a person or an event and feel let down when reality falls short of our anticipation. Perhaps we find ourselves with a group of people whose conversation is superficial and relationships are phony. Putting on a mask and keeping it in place for any length of time leaves us feeling drained and empty.
Without honest, meaningful contact with other people, we are emotionally undernourished. In order to have the mutually nurturing relationships we need, our false fronts have to be abandoned. Through this program, we learn to seek out the kinds of people and activities that fill us and to avoid those that leave us empty .
~Food for Thought
When I feel like breaking abstinence, I remember that no matter HOW much I eat, I will NOT be able to fill that emptiness inside. My binge will be huge, and I will still go back for more. When I am emotionally undernourished is when I need to have conscious contact with God again; go within to find what's lacking, instead of stuffing my body with empty calories. That's what the program has taught me, and it was a lesson well worth learning.
For today, I will be myself...........I don't need a phony smile and a mask to hide the real me behind. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, that's ok. I will not emotionally drain MYself in an effort to please somebody else! I will not risky MY program for anyone or anything, not for today.
For today, I will not commit slow suicide by stuffing my body or damaging my health.
For today, I will be ME and that IS good enough!
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