Recovery Meditations: May 9th

OPEN MINDEDNESS

Let go of your attachment to being right,
and suddenly your mind is more open.
You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others,
without being crippled by your own judgment.

Ralph Marston


Before joining this program much of my life was taken up with defending myself against those who would hurl abuse. I kept everything and everybody at arm's length in a bid to protect my increasingly fragile and sensitive self-assurance. As time marched on, and my disease became parasitical, the walls around me grew higher and isolation drew me inwards.

Ironically, the fortress I was building didn’t protect me from myself and I soon became my own worst enemy. My self-loathing and my unceasing search for perfection led me deeper into a self-induced state of depression. Keeping everybody out and locking myself in became an exhausting exercise.

On entering the 12 Step program I soon realized that the fortress I had so carefully built to protect myself against the outside world was also preventing any kind of light, warmth and love from entering in.

As my journey of recovery progressed, brick by brick the walls came down and afforded me the nourishment I needed to blossom and grow. In learning to accept myself, I found that what others thought of me paled into insignificance. I learned that there was a wealth of experience, strength and hope which would help me along the journey. I learned that I could take what I needed and put down the remainder, without the resentment, anger, fear or pain, which previously would have sent me running for cover.

One Day at a Time . . .
I aim to be willing to keep my mind open, to accept what I need to continue my journey, and to leave the rest.

~ Sue G ~

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When I let go of my attachment to being right, and having the last word, only THEN am I able to keep an open mind & really listen to others.  Being present & attentive is the biggest gift I can give, and the biggest gift I can get.  When I open my mind to life, I allow myself to learn......to absorb the lessons & the instructions God has intended me to learn.

When I am stuck in the mode of self-defense, nothing gets through. My brain is turned off because my ego is in charge instead of my heart.  Nothing will destroy me faster than ego.

Compulsive overeating is a teacher of humility. When I'm brought to my knees time & time again, my ego eventually shatters and leaves me with nothing familiar to rely on..........no identity that's structured on appearance, possessions or status.  When my ego is flattened, my soul springs UP and finds peace.

It's taken a good number of years to chip down my walls of self-protection & pride. I am a work in progress, and still focused on eliminating more.  The fortress I'd built protected me from nothing, least of all myself.

For today, I pray to keep an open mind so I don't miss out on a single moment of learning.