Recovery Meditations: February 28th

~ RECOVERY ~

The people who get on in the world are the people
who get up and look for the circumstances they want.

George Bernard Shaw


        There was a time, not so long ago, that my life was much different than it is right now. My weight was skyrocketing because my eating compulsion was out of control. I couldn't walk very far without huffing and puffing. My lower back hurt because my stomach pulled my spine out of alignment. My feet and ankles were swollen, my knees hurt, just standing was painful. I was hot all the time because my fat acted as insulation, keeping my body temperature high. My wife was hounding me about losing the weight, my doctor was taking her side, and even the kids at my son's daycare were asking me why I was so big.

        I didn't start the recovery process (and it IS a process!) until I got to the point where I was so uncomfortable with myself that I had to do something. It wasn't just that I was physically uncomfortable. I had to get past the comfort zone I had mentally and emotionally set up for myself; I had to get uncomfortable. I had to jump into the unknown, which was the most frightening thing I'd ever done.

        Sitting around, moaning about my circumstances and suffering the physical consequences of my weight, didn't get me anywhere. It was only when I became ready to see my life change, mentally, emotionally AND physically, that I began the footwork of this Program. That was the key to the beginning of my recovery, the getting up and actually doing something about it. When I took that first Step, the miracle began.

        One Day at a Time . . .
        I will take the necessary steps to maintain my
        recovery from compulsive eating.

        ~ JAR ~

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Step 1:  We admitted we were powerless over food---that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step one is huge............admitting defeat...........admitting powerlessness over something that is stronger than I am.  Stronger than me, yes, but not stronger than God or the powerful program of recovery known as OA!

When I was eating compulsively and obese, I too was hot all the time, sweating, uncomfortable, thighs rubbing together, back aching, sleepless, anxiety ridden, stomach aches & acid reflux...........and the list goes on.

I had to hit rock bottom before I became willing to surrender & hold up the white flag.  My compulsion to overeat had beaten me down.  I was ready to put aside my way & take on a whole new way. 

Finding abstinence from compulsive overeating opened up a whole new life for me.  Working the steps and interacting with other COEs has literally saved my life.

For today, I choose recovery over practicing my disease.  As hard as abstinence can sometimes feel, the pain of compulsive overeating is far, far worse.

Recovery is a journey, not a destination.