Recovery Meditations: February 25th

~ STARTING OVER ~

Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist,
but in the ability to start over.

F. Scott Fitzgerald


Before coming into this program I was, and probably still am to a certain extent, a perfectionist, so one of the things I really struggled with is being able make mistakes without feeling bad about myself. So when I came into the program, I decided that I was going to do this program perfectly, and proceeded to do just that. I followed a meal plan, lost weight and worked the steps, and I really thought I had it made. But I hadn't counted on the fact that this is a disease, and it is both cunning, baffling and powerful. So when I had my first slip, I was devastated and felt a real failure.

Fortunately for me, with the help of many loving sponsors over the years, I have realised that I am not a failure if I slip, but I am only one if I fail to get up. This program has enabled me to learn that when I make a mistake, I am not that mistake, and that all I need to do is to pick myself up and start over. In the old days if I failed at a diet, I would never have been able to pick myself up so soon, and it would always be an excuse to carry on eating and start the diet again on Monday. Now I know that my abstinence can even start at the end of the day, rather than waiting till tomorrow, next week or even next month. I am slowly starting to let go of the guilt I feel when I slip, and am also learning to love myself even when I do flounder, because with the love and support I am given in this program, I know I can always start over.

One day at a time...
I will remember that I can start afresh any time I like, and don't need to feel as if I have failed.

~ Sharon ~

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Abstinence is a daily commitment. When I struggle to stay true to my food plan, I remind myself I only have to deal with my life in 24 hour chunks.  I tell myself I'll have that food I'm craving 'tomorrow' and oftentimes, the craving subsides as my mind relaxes with the knowledge that it's not 'forever' I'm committed to; it's just one day.

If I slip, I get back on track right away........not on "Monday"..........because Monday never comes.  Giving myself the option to stay off plan for several days is just an excuse and an invitation to allow the addiction to rule my life for God knows HOW long!

An excuse is nothing more than a thin skin stretched over a bald faced lie.
~AA

I will never be perfect but I will always try to do my best and that IS good enough!   Instead of coming up with excuses to overeat, for today, I will come up with reasons to stay abstinent.  Nothing tastes as good as abstinence FEELS!