For Today: June 6th

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.

Hermann Hesse

If I were completely self-accepting, and at peace with myself, I would not be disturbed by another’s words or actions. When I examine my dislike of certain individuals, I am startled to find that the characteristics I am least tolerant of are those I hate in myself. It is particularly upsetting to discover that I can feel this way even toward someone very close to me---a spouse, a child, a dear friend.

Progress in the OA program of recovery gives me increasing self-acceptance and a growing tolerance of others. I know, however, that perfect acceptance at all times is not possible. What is possible is to grow in understanding and in the ability to acknowledge my feelings.

For Today: I freely admit that certain persons arouse strong feelings in me, but I do not have to act on those feelings.

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I struggle with this concept; that I dislike in others what I dislike about myself.  My mother drives me stark-raving mad. Why? Because she is constantly worrying & wringing her hands, to the point of obsession.  Her negativity is constant & chronic.  OK, while I myself AM an OCD type person, I make a point of NOT worrying myself or others to death. I have worked very diligently to become a positive person, and to discard my negative way of thinking. Of course, I attribute this attitude to OA & the plan of recovery. 

So, to some degree, I don’t agree with this idea.

To another degree, however, I understand it.

When someone at work is acting petty or gossipy, I DO see that ugly quality in myself & I dislike it. So, what I see in THEM is what I hate in ME.

While I do have more tolerance for others with regard to certain behaviors, what I struggle with is tolerance for others exhibiting behaviors I myself have overcome.

If I can overcome negative behaviors, shouldn’t they be able to overcome their negative behaviors?

This is an area that I obviously need to work on…..:) 

I am making progress, not seeking perfection.

For today, I ask God to help me develop more tolerance for others, regardless of their behavior, and regardless of whether I agree or disagree with it, and regardless of whether I like it or not.

I recognize the fact that it has taken me a LONG time to get to where I am today, and that others’ may not yet have put in their time or effort.

Where I am today is NOT where I expect others to be.

For today, I pray for the willingness to put my expectations aside & to be more accepting of EVERYONE, including myself.