For Today: June 4th

Equality consists in the same treatment of similar persons.

Aristotle

I believe that people do the best they can do, but do I include myself in that philosophy?  Or do I have higher standards for myself and berate myself because I cannot live up to them? I believe in treating people well, but do I give myself the same consideration or are my self-judgments harsh and deprecating?  I believe in being fair to others, but am I fair to myself or do I give myself little credit in the relentless need to be perfect? What I believe must be for all people, including myself.

For Today: I am not basically different from most people so, just as I would not demand perfection of others, I do not demand it of myself. I am as loving, tolerant and understanding of myself as I am of other compulsive overeaters.

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Sigh.

I DO have a different set of rules in place for myself than I have for others! I am WAY harder on myself than I would ever THINK of being on other people.  If I make a mistake, I tend to judge myself harshly & consider myself a failure, a mistake, a freak of nature.

This sort of skewed thinking is what leads me to the ‘all or nothing’ mentality, where I tell myself OH YOU SCREWED UP SO JUST KEEP SCREWING UP, THAT’S ALL YOU’RE GOOD FOR.

That’s nonsensical behavior & keeps my disease of compulsive overeating ALIVE instead of putting it into the cage where it belongs.

Extreme behavior goes with the territory of compulsive overeating & that’s what OA helps me work on: changing that extreme behavior to one of moderation, understanding, compassion, empathy & self-acceptance.

If I make a mistake, I acknowledge it, apologize for it when appropriate, and move PAST it. I will never be a perfect person & that’s quite alright. Nowadays, it’s more important for me to stop dealing with extremes entirely than it is to strive towards an unattainable goal of ‘perfection.’ 

For today, I will treat myself as I treat others; I will treat myself fairly & compassionately & I will not demand something from MYSELF that I wouldn’t demand from others.